My little cup of joy has overflown!

So, this week is a relatively long week for us at school because we are there for all 5 days. We usually are in our school for 4 days with training on Fridays. I was really kind of thankful to get these 5 days, because that meant that I would get a lot of quality tutoring done with my students.

One of my students has been a prominent feature in my week for sure. You see, we have these stories in City Year that act as "founding stories" meaning that they form the core of what we're about. One is about starfishes. I think I posted it on here before, but the gist is that even if you only make an impact on one student, it's worth it. So, we talk about our "starfish" students a lot in City Year, referring to those students who we feel we are really making a difference for. Last week and this week, we've been asked to share our Starfish Stories with the staff at City Year San Antonio. So I wrote about a student I'll call Blossom (for the name of his family dog, a very nice pit bull). Here is what I wrote:

Blossom is tall for his age and is very proud of his dark shoulder-length hair, which he wears across his eyes and flips frequently to get out of his face. He lives with an ever-changing variety of family members, but his 20-year-old brother is the most constant presence at Blossom's extracurricular activities which include Mariachi band. Blossom wears the same outfit to school every day and doesn't own a weatherproof jacket.

When I met Blossom, he asked me what City Year was about. I told him that we help students in class and put on fun activities after school. He said, "Miss, that sounds stupid. I hate City Year." Blossom made it clear that he did not like school or see the value in receiving an education, and he was frequently absent and referred to the office for behavior issues. He mentioned to me that he wanted to drop out as soon as he was able to. Because he was so far behind, I was assigned to work with Blossom in attendance coaching, behavior coaching, and Language Arts tutoring. 

What really helped Blossom get back on track was small, reachable incentives. He would often come to class without any materials whatsoever, so after I lent him a pencil, I challenged him to earn that pencil by staying on task during the entire class period. He quickly took the challenge and earned his pencil. The next incentive was to keep that same pencil over night to show me that he could be responsible with his materials. When he accomplished that, he earned a pen. We used these small steps to build up to the point where now, Blossom has an incentive chart with 25 spots on it. When he makes it to school on time and participates in class 25 days, he will earn his largest incentive yet: playing basketball during tutoring time with his best friend. 

​I am so proud of how far Blossom has come since I met him in August. We have often discussed his view that school did not matter to his future. Eventually, he divulged that he was interested in engineering. This was extremely exciting for me because my brother and my father are professional engineers. I told Blossom that he could write questions that he had about engineering and I would ask my family members and report back to him. He wrote 10 questions without prompting, including, "Do you like being an engineer? Why?" and "Do you make friends in engineering?" I am so excited to share with him what they said! 

My biggest wish for Blossom is that I can teach him to achieve for himself and to delight in the simple joy of giving his best effort. If he can find the motivation and determination to learn, nothing can stop him from achieving his goals.

Last week, Blossom was absent the entire week because, he later told me, he didn't feel like coming. He returned this week and we have worked really hard to make sure he caught up in class. After I showed him what Dave and Dad had to say about his questions, he decided to buckle down and make the effort to catch up. I have spent a lot of time with him this week, something that he would have literally turned his back on earlier in the year. I am really excited to see how much he will improve between now and the end of the year; his potential is truly outstanding!

Three weeks ago, I had to chase him down and threaten to sit with him at lunch with his friends around to get him to join me for our behavior coaching group lunch. I am ecstatic to say that today, this happened:

"Miss, will you be here tomorrow? You're not always here on Fridays."
"Yep, we are going to be here!"
"Do you have to eat lunch with anybody tomorrow?"
"Nope, my groups are all on Wednesday and Thursday."
"Would it be okay if me and a friend ate with you?"
"I would like that!"

OF COURSE IT'S OKAY! Is it okay if I dance around the cafeteria deliriously happy?

I almost forgot to add that he also gave me a lesson in Spanish pronunciation while we were revising his personal narrative. He talked about his Tia (aunt in Spanish) and he stopped me every time I said it to correct me. "No, Miss! It's Thii-AH!" "Thii-AH?" "Yes, that's better." :)

AND, I finally got my most stubborn students to be interested in a book. If you remember, this is the same student who refused to consider any book that didn't solely focus on basketball, more specifically, the NBA. Guess what book we're reading together? The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan. I am pretty sure basketball isn't even mentioned! (However, sixth graders who don't like school and get in trouble are. Interesting...) We read the first page together and I asked if he would like to continue with this book. "Sure, it's alright I guess" he said with a shrug. One chapter later, he asked if he could borrow it to finish the second chapter at home. I SAID YES. (It's an excellent book for all ages by the way, I highly recommend it and the rest of the Percy Jackson series.)

These are just two of my 20 students. Let me tell you, not all of the others are reacting as positively to me as these guys. This is the first week in a while, though, that I feel like I'm doing my job really well and that I'm making a difference to these students.

I don't think it is possible to overstate how happy/proud/overflowing with joy I am. I'm doing something important! 

Patience

My week at school has told me that above everything, caring about my students takes patience.

It takes patience to suggest book after book to a student who is unbelievably judgmental of books based solely on their cover. 

It's worth it because I know someday he'll remember crazy Ms. C. who wouldn't leave him alone until he gave every book a fair chance.

It takes patience to hear every student you mention reading to say those dreaded words, "I hate reading."

"How could you hate reading?! It can take you anywhere in the universe."

"It's boring!"

What I want to say: "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS BORING!!!!"

What I actually day: "You just haven't found the right book! Come find one with me!"

It's worth it to watch a student devour a book you recommended to them and then pass that recommendation on to a friend.

It takes patience to call parents of students who are absent and get number after disconnected number without speaking to one actual parent.

It's worth it for the one parent who tells you how thankful they are that someone in the school cares enough to check for their daughter.

It takes patience to have lunch with a group if students who think it's acceptable to "play" around with friends by making fun of their appearance even if one of them has asked the other to stop. 

It's worth it to hear chatty students go silent and stay that way when I tell them I invited them to lunch because I care about them and believe that they can succeed and be leaders for others. 

It takes patience to know what students need to do in class to be successful but watch them do the opposite and turn down your help.

It's worth it to walk away from an obstinate student who waits until I'm "not" paying attention to begin the task I was bugging him about. 

It take patience to explain why writing will someday be useful to a student who has dyslexia.

It's worth it to see that student choose reading a book with me as an event important enough to write his personal narrative about. Why was it important to him? Because it was the first time he ever wanted to read a whole book front to back.

It takes patience to tell a student in after school to put his phone away time after time in a calm voice.

It's worth it when he asks if I'd please take his phone from him so he won't be tempted any more.

It takes patience to ask students to choose the right choice for themselves and watch them make the exact opposite choice.

It's worth it when students are standing up ready to fight and I can coach them back to their seats by reminding them that only THEY have the power to control their actions and avoid the consequences.

Every job that I do is not easy and none of them give me any instant gratification, but I know that every job and interaction will slowly impact my students for the better. My prayer is that I can have enough interactions with each student to make an impact that lasts beyond this year and goes with them outside the school's campus.

Also that I can keep being patient because I know that my students need me to support them even if they don't always express that need in words other than, "Leave me alone!" 

New Teacher

I have a permanent teacher in my classroom!! Hallelujah!

But seriously. I'm really excited about her and the potential for the rest of the year. 2 out of the 3 classes I serve were really engaged in her introductory lesson and were very respectful while she was talking. I was really proud of them.

The class that normally has trouble had trouble again. They have taken on the reputation of "the class that drives away teachers." It has become a badge of feigned honor for some, a bragging point that thinly veils the deep hurt they have from the many transitions they've been put through this year. I look forward to watching them grow the rest of the year as they realize that they can finally trust our leader in the classroom and give her their respect.

I have decided that I can help best in the classroom by encouraging my teacher at all costs and helping her to gain control over these very wobbly students. I am no longer pulling out students to tutor them during ELA class time.

However, I have been working very hard since I had my mid-year evaluation to still gain the prescribed amount of time with my focus list students. I had not been meeting my goals because of the conflict I was feeling about "abandoning" students in class to tutor my students and a lot of other excuses that my brain thought were valid. They weren't.

So I have changed my tack once again. I will take my boss's advice and control what I can control: meeting with my students during electives and Pride Time (homeroom), being extremely enthusiastic about our teacher and ELA and reading and pretty much everything, run an engaging after school program that enriches students' lives, and loving students every chance I get.

For none of this do I receive much instant gratification. I must admit that some students are very appreciative tell me that I'm fun/cool/etc, but most of the work I do will pay off when the advice I gave them finally makes sense in 3 years or more. My goal is that one day my student who can't resist getting pulled into an argument will realize that he really IS only in control of his actions! That my students who think reading is boring will someday realize that they just hadn't found the right book yet. That the only way  not to be a part of the problem is to be a part of the solution.

Highlight: a student who three weeks ago flat out refused to attend my behavior-coaching lunch with other students, but has come reluctantly the last two weeks, helped me by picking up something I had dropped on the floor. I said thank you and he asked if that was something that he could tell the group. I asked what group, and he said, "When we eat together!" :)

Lowlight: a student told me her birthday was coming up on Sunday. I asked if she'd eat cake or have a party and she said, "No. My mom told me I was too old to have a party." She'll be getting a mini-party on Friday, believe you me.

No Words

I'm having one of those slippery-slope complexes where every day I don't update my blog I become less likely to update it because I gain more and more material that has to be put into the blogs. Therefore, I am not going to give an all-encompassing monologue updating you on my service, I'll just try to write things that I remember and that will do me good to type out in this format.

Truth be told, I'm having a hard time. Not because my life is hard; it's actually great! I had a wonderful break where I got to see almost every friend that I'd been missing, spend some time with my family and my fiance (oh yeah, and I got a fiance!), and visit the school I'll be working in next year and scope out the Nashville scene for Pat's and my future life. I go to school every day and have a lot of positive interactions with students and teachers and feel pretty good about my effort in my job and my impact with students in their behavior and attendance.

However, my class is in shambles in every sense of the expression. I lost my teacher (yes, again) and now have a substitute that changes almost daily. The class lessons are being given to us by the other 6th grade teacher, but only the morning of. THE MORNING OF. How do you think that turns out for 1st period, when we don't have any materials prepared and have only just glanced at the lesson plan? Oh yeah, and that class is 1/3 special education students.

The worst part is that tomorrow we have a district-mandated expository writing test, where students are required to respond to a prompt with a 5-paragraph essay. The first time students had even heard the word 'expository' was today. TODAY. We had one day to practice a completely unfamiliar skill that they will be tested on tomorrow. The only thing the students have written to date was a creative super hero narrative. They didn't have any idea what a strong main idea was, let alone how to form one of their own from a prompt.  It would be laughable if it the children's entire academic futures weren't riding on tests like these.

I spoke with the administrator about my situation and was told that they don't want to rush into hiring someone who won't last. My substitute regularly tells the students that they are bad students and that they scared off the other teachers. I reported that to the administrator and received sympathy for the students. She felt bad for what they are going through, but no action was taken.

I heard one of the students repeat this during lunch (that the other teacher quit because she didn't like them), and one of my students corrected him. He said that she just wanted to teach elementary school like she did before (with a "duh" added for emphasis), which is what I told my students had happened because that's the truth. I warmed my heart to see him defending that against the student who just wanted to blab about how "bad" they were.

The truth is that my students are better behaved than they have ever been. They are spinning their wheels in my class and it is killing me that I can't do much about that. I led the class through the prewriting exercise in class today because my substitute's procedure was to point at the instructions and loudly rebuke students who didn't immediately understand what they were supposed to do with a completely new concept and activity by telling them that they should know how to do this by now.

Although I feel like I am making an impact with my students and my personal life and future are looking very bright, I am truthfully terrified for my students and their future. It is so very hard to make up instructional time for students who fall behind in their coursework, especially in English and Math. My students have effectively been without a certified teacher for 3 months.

If you remember, spare a few thoughts for us tomorrow as you go through your day. Send some positivity toward Room 112 and the students that want to learn in there, but are struggling through little fault of their own.

A Day of Victory!

Today was an EXCELLENT DAY! Let me splain; there were 3 main victories.

Victory #1

One of my students has a significantly lower reading level than my others (like kindergarten level low) and as a result, has basically resigned to answering "I dunno" to any question asked of him. Like ever. Like if you ask "Why don't you like to read?" he will answer with a shrug. When I prompt him with "Is it because it's hard?" shrug. "It's okay that you don't like it, I just want to know what makes you not like it." shrug. SHRUG!

Today, we did a fluency lesson. Fluency is a student's ability to read aloud with accuracy and speed. So we began by reading a passage that I had already picked out (it was the plane crash scene in Hatchet, which totally roped in most of my students because I purposely picked a super suspenseful place to stop---"Miss! Does he make it out of the water alive!?" "Oh, I don't remember, but you can borrow the book and read for yourself!" heh heh). He read as far in the passage as he could get in 1 minute by himself and I marked how far he got. I also wrote down words that he mispronounced and went over them with him.

The next step is to practice reading together in unison. That didn't work well with this student because he didn't know how to pronounce the words well enough to do it in sync; he was always waiting for me to say it and then he repeated them. So we did echo reading instead--exactly what it sounds like; I read 4-5 words and then the student does, then I say the next 4-5 words, etc. He did that really well, pronouncing the words perfectly after listening to me and looking in his book.


After that, he got to read the same passage one more time on his own to see if he could get farther on his own this time. He read 2 sentences farther! Not only that, but he pronounced 5 words correctly out of the 7 he had missed the first time! I was SO EXCITED, and it was so obvious that he couldn't help but be happy too. I asked why he thought he did better that time and he said without prompting, "because I practiced it." NO SHRUG! He is normally way too cool for school, but he totally cracked a real smile when he saw how excited I was for him. It's going to be a long road, but him seeing that practicing can give him actual results is invaluable at this point.

Victory #2

In after school, behavior has been going a lot better. We've implemented a "Swag Tag" system where students are given a raffle ticket when they are caught doing something good (being on task, answering a question, helping their neighbor, sitting quietly, etc). They write their names on the tickets and put them into a box. Every week, 3 names are drawn out of the box and the winner gets a prize. It's simple: the more good things you do, the better chances you have in the raffle!

Also an exciting thing is that next week, we are going on  field trip! We're going to the San Antonio Museum of Art and the kids are really excited to go!

So today I was working with a couple of girls on ELA before we started the enrichment lesson, which was on  Music today. The girls are best friends and CAN NOT sit together without talking and giggling. It inevitably resulted in the corps member leading the lesson to get frustrated with their talking and ask one girl to move across the room. She refused, he insisted. She finally got up, cursed AT the corps member in front of the whole room, got her things and walked out.

I caught up with her right before she reached the door. Small victory that she didn't keep going out the door; it was a distinct possibility. We talked through what had happened, talked about why the corps member might have acted in a way she perceived as really mean and what she could have done better. I asked if she thought she would be allowed on the field trip if she left today's lesson like she did, and she shook her head. I asked what she thought she should have to do to regain her ability to go on the field trip. Together, we decided that she should have to go back into the library and finish out the lesson. After everyone was leaving, she would apologize to the corps member for her behavior.

SHE DID IT. SHE DID ALL OF IT.

I know it's hard to understand how big of a deal this is, but I know I always had a hard time asking for forgiveness in that way, and it was a huge piece of humble pie she had to swallow. She took it like an amazing young woman and I was so proud of her that when she said sorry that I almost cried. It was
amazing and I could tell she was happy with herself for making the right choice. It was wonderful.

Victory #3

Today our team hosted a family literacy night at our school. We invited students to bring their families for a night of ELA games and Math games. Our two ELA coordinators basically organized the whole thing on their own with a lot of pressure from our partners in the school, and they bore it so gracefully and everything went fantastically!

About 150 people came in total, and there was hot chocolate (which you could earn by playing 2 ELA games and 2 Math games and getting stickers in your "passport") we also had dinner provided by our wonderful parent liaisons. I was so proud to be a part of our team tonight because we all prepared for our respective games thoroughly and it was obvious to the parents that we cared about the students and that we're an asset to our school. I never doubt that fact, but it's nice to parade it around in front of interested parents.

I got to meet one of my students' families, with her little brothers and sisters who were incredibly adorable. I joked around with students who I normally have to redirect in class, which was extremely refreshing and I'm sure they liked that version of Ms. C. a little better. We also had visitors from another CY team to assist in our program, so it was fun to show them around and show our school and our team off to them. We had a lot of fun and I know the kids had a blast.

As you can read, I had a fantastic day! I love my job!

The Burritos

So we have 3 lists of students that we focus on in the school:

Students that are struggling with course content (in my case, English).

Students who struggle with behavior in class.

Students who struggle with attendance.

My ELA focus list contains the students that I tutor in English and spend most of my time with. 

However, behavior students also get to spend time with me in the form of Leadership Lunches. Once a week, I meet with two groups of five students for behavior coaching during their lunch period. We talk about things that we can do to be good leaders, what it means to be a good leader, our goals for behavior, etc. 

My first group met for the second time today. Last meeting, we came up with a group name; the Burritos. It was a contentious vote on the team name, but Burritos it was. Now, one of my students in class always mentions that he is a Burrito. I use it in class to redirect those students by saying "Is that how Burritos act in class? Didn't think so." 

So today in our meeting we tried to list things that we've done over the last week that are good things, things that good leaders do. Everyone could think of at least one thing, so that was a positive! However, two burritos got in a fight during class and had to be sent to the office. Baby steps!

One thing that always makes me smile is how happy the students are to get their invitations to lunch. They hold onto those papers more tightly than they do any of their actually important home work assignments. Students who are cooler than cool can't help but excitedly ask where they should meet me after they get their food. We also have a lot of students that ask us to be able to come to the lunches. I think we're doing an effective job at hiding the fact that students HAVE to eat with us because their teachers referred them to the behavior intervention program. :)

Tomorrow I meet for the first time with my other group of students. I have high hopes for them, but I'm a little nervous. This is the big leagues as far as behavior problems goes; we take the worst-behaved kids and stick them in a room together and handle it like champs. I gotta get pumped! 

My student that I made the reading deal with switched his choice to Hunger Games, which I had also suggested. Yesterday, I asked how it was going and he said, "boring." I was incredulous. Today, however, he said it was going well and he asked if he could borrow the second book after he finished this one! I said of course!! Now I have to get my hands on Catching Fire... 

My cursive-loving student finished the alphabet! He had me write it out on a piece of paper so he could practice at home. As long as he has that love of learning, he is going to be just fine. 

Tonight I joined the choir at my church! The old choir director left, and so did most of the choir, so it was the perfect opportunity for a mediocre singer to jump in! I've secretly always wanted to sing in a choir, and I am taking full advantage of this chance! 

Things are going really well down here, I feel like I'm making at least a small difference for every student I come in contact with, and that makes it all worthwhile. :)

By the way, it got up to 85 today. 

"I want to learn all of it!"

Wow, I have really let myself down when it comes to reflecting on my service. I've let writing this blog morph into an obligation to others in my mind, when it really is a service to myself. I know I'm going to want to look back and flip through these virtual pages to relive this year, and if I keep this up, there won't be many pages to flip!

In my defense, last week I had the whole week off for Thanksgiving. Or rather, we had Wednesday-Friday off and I took two personal days to show Patty around San Antone. It was an amazing break and was the perfect combination of binge-watching Breaking Bad (we finished the series) and actually doing things (we walked 5 miles along the riverwalk on Thanksgiving). It was exactly what I needed. 

School is continuing on. Today I met the teacher I will be paired with for the rest of the year. I am really excited for our class; I think the teacher will be what the students need. She is a permanent substitute who has a lot of elementary experience and has her teaching license. My students had a positive reaction to her, and that's half the battle! 

One of my students is an excellent worker and behaves magnificently, but won't stop talking about how he "hates" reading. He only read stories about sports, and even then he only likes books written about the NBA (I couldn't help laughing when he said this matter-of-factly as if he wasn't limiting himself to under 0.001% of the books in the world). So I made him a deal. I told him that I wanted him to read a whole chapter book cover-to-cover (he tends to read two pages and decide he doesn't like it) before Christmas break. The catch--it couldn't be about sports. I asked what he felt like he should earn for such a feat and he said a bag of Skittles. I think that can be swung. :) I have been incessantly recommending books that I know any sixth-grade boy would enjoy, and today when I asked him which book he was going to choose, he said Hatchet, which was one that I was most vocally pushing. And he remembered the title from over a week ago! He is soooo going to at least like reading when this year is up.

One of my other students asked today in afterschool if I could teach him to write in cursive. He didn't have any homework or classwork to do, so I obliged. He was so eager, it was adorable!! He loved the loopy letters, but he especially liked the capital "D". We didn't get to practice the whole alphabet because I kept having to conference with students who were misbehaving, but I told him that tomorrow we could at least teach him how to write his name in cursive. He objected instantly. "I want to learn all of it, Miss! All the letters." So you know exactly where I'll be tomorrow after school. :)

Also, I decorated our apartment (sort of) for Christmas! I put up some lights in the windows for our neighbors to enjoy and today I creepily overheard a compliment. Our windows are open because it's mid-70's here right now (jelly?) and a man was walking his dog and said to our neighbor who was out smoking on the porch, "Hey man, I like your lights upstairs!" to which our neighbor replied, "Oh, that's not our apartment." It's a little sad how warm and fuzzy this made me feel as I sat in our living room. But warm and fuzzy I felt indeed. 

Goodnight!

P.S. I am super excited to see my parents and my little brother this weekend for Dave's graduation! Hooray!!!

P.P.S. Last week we did an afterschool lesson on appreciating each other and saying nice things to one another where we all wrote things about each other that we liked. The result was wonderfully, awkwardly adolescent. Here is my paper after all the students wrote on it. It makes me happy.