Tacos 2 for 3!

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Today was pretty much how I expected it to be. I did get some extra fun thrown in when a bunch of us played volleyball at a community center. There were about 9 of us corps members, but there were also kids and families in the gym, so eventually they joined in our game. It was a blast and finally got to blow off some steam. Much needed. Also, the sessions that we had after we left our school today were much more engaging than I expected them to be. I really enjoyed the afternoon today.

2. Volleyball was certainly a high point. Also, I rode the same bus to school even though we had a call time later than before, so I stopped at Linda's Mexican Restaurant and had some delicious breakfast tacos. Soooo good. Also, Alex, Dennis, and I stopped at Ray's Puffy Tacos for lunch. Puffy tacos are a thing here that involved a regular taco, but with a deep-fried shell. Unfortunately, Alex and I just assumed that ordering tacos would get us puffy tacos, but they were regular kind. It was a big disappointment, but the tacos were still delicious and on homemade tortillas. So I was 2 for 3 on meals involving tacos today! That has got to make the high point list! Also, one of my teammates got to school early and tried to get the kids who were waiting for school to start involved in an icebreaker game. It was a valiant effort, but we could only get one student to play with us. But this student, you guys. He was so brave! It began with him and several of his friends playing, but then his friends got tired of it and left. As they walked away, they tried to get him to come away with them, but he decided that he wanted to keep playing! He continued to play even though he was the only student and there were 10 CY members playing. I would have ran as fast as I could from that circle when I was in 7th grade!

Oh! And my team nominated me to read our City Year Team Mission Statement during the CYSA opening ceremonies on September 11. So that will be fun! And it was flattering that they chose me. :)

And I got to start a friendship bracelet on the bus ride to school. Not sure who it will be for yet!

3. Low point was that I ate TERRIBLY today. I mean, the tacos were great for the soul, but not necessarily the best choice for my wallet or my tummy. Also, we got Chinese for supper; guess I just decided to call it a terrible eating day and finish it out strong. :)

Also, our toilet overflowed again.

4. I grew today when we talked about starting our Idealist's Journey. City Year does this thing throughout the year that involves getting in a small group and reflecting about our service and discussing how we are growing and changing as people, not just in our service, but in our lives. It is amazing how well City Year takes care of us during our service and how much they want this to be a positive life-changing experience for every corps member. I am so excited to start with my IJ group and discuss some difficult topics in current events or otherwise. So while we were talking about the IJ, the facilitator wanted to get us in the discussing mood, so he threw out the question, "What is the meaning of life?" and told us to discuss it at our tables. One at our table said that they didn't believe that life had any meaning, others shared their answers. It really made me reflect on what I thought the meaning of my life is, which was super heavy thinking for late afternoon when you've been up since 5:30. After a lot of thought though, even though I can never know for sure in this life if there is a definite meaning, what I do know is that I can do my best to make myself and everyone around me happy. So that is the meaning of my life: be happy and try to make as many people around me as possible happy. I don't always succeed, but I feel like I am fulfilling my life's mission when people around me are happy.

5. I am excited that tomorrow is FRIDAY! Don't get me wrong, I am loving my service and my school and my school team, but I am readier than ready for this long weekend, mostly because I get to see Pat!!!!! Driving up to Longview to meet a new side of his family! SO READY.

"Are those your real eyes?"

1. Today was a good day. We started off with power greeting the students, and I thought today went much better than yesterday. Yesterday was a great first day, but today we were a little more comfortable and goofy and the students were a little more willing to participate. After power greeting, we met in the Diplomas Now office --PAUSE: Diplomas Now is an initiative that brings City Year together with two other agencies, CIS (communities in schools), which involves the social work sector, and Talent Development, a non-profit that focuses on tutoring and helping students reach their potential. Diplomas Now is based on Johns Hopkins University research that shows that the tools we're using to help kids make a real difference in reducing the dropout rate. The program involves having a control school and a Diplomas Now school, so that they can prove these results in the real world. Our school is a Diplomas Now school, which means it is receiving the interventions recommended, and that's why City Year is in this school particularly!

So anyway, they had a breakfast to welcome us today, and we feasted on donuts, quiches, banana bread, and assorted other delicious goodies. We were at this breakfast for the first two periods, so we all ate copious amounts, it was pretty ridiculous. It was really great though because we got to meet everyone that works with Diplomas Now and bond with them over Shipley's Donuts, which is apparently a thing here. A delicious thing. For example, I had a donut that was chocolate flavored with chocolate fudge filling. It was divine. After that, we observed two teachers that we didn't observe yesterday, and I had a great time in the classes. It's wild to be back in 6th and 7th grade after so long!

Then we went back to Region 20 and had some sessions on how to navigate difficult conversations with students and cognitive development in youth. Super informative and I did a much better job of staying engaged today. The trail mix helped, except I got chocolate on my khakis so then I had to do laundry. Lame.

2. High point #1 was during power greeting. I was holding the door for the students to go into school and cheering and clapping and so forth and I had such a great time seeing the students smile as they entered the school! It really did seem like we were brightening everyone's day as they came in, which is exactly the point. I think there should be power greeters everywhere in life. You know, walmart, the gym, the library, the courthouse. Think how happy the world would be! Also, one student walked toward me and asked me, "Are those your real eyes?" My gut reaction was to laugh out loud at how she worded that question, but I understood what she meant, so I confirmed that they were, in fact, my real eyes. She said they were beautiful! :)

Other highlights include watching a reading class, because it totally reminded me AGAIN how much I love to read, and driving back to Region 20 with Alex and Dennis, because every day we have gotten a little off track on our route back, but every day it has been hilariously fun to ride in a car with them. They're great.

3. Low point was honestly probably the chocolate on the khakis thing. I really hate doing laundry. Also, I really need to do some sort of exercise, because I'm feeling very lethargic lately and I know exactly how to fix that, other than going to bed a grandma-hour, which I am already doing.

4. I grew today when we talked about cognitive development and keeping a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset. We talked a lot about how a students' mindset has a huge effect on their grades and success, and how just simply the way we praise them can change the way they think about themselves and their abilities. I love talking about how youth develop and how people come to have the world view that they have, and it was awesome to discuss this mindset topic in more detail. We watched a TED talk on the topic (if you don't know what those are, go to www.TED.com and watch videos on whatever topic tickles your fancy. I bear no responsibility for the amount of time you will spend on that site, but I don't see it as wasting time because the videos are jammed full of knowledge). In this video, the speaker was talking about Josh Waitzkin, a chess prodigy (whom the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer is based on) and how having a growth mindset lead him to become a world champion martial artist after his chessing days were over, just because he thought he could. So Waitzkin is one of the firmest believers in the idea that we can do anything with a little effort and not teaching kids that is totally ruining their lives. My favorite quote that the speaker gave during the presentation was as follows:

"If we win because we are a winner, when we lose it must mean we are a loser." -Josh Waitzkin

Seems simple and straight forward, but think about how often parents, teachers, coaches, ANYONE praises kids with words like "you're a winner!" or "you're so smart!" or "you're so good" or "you're so pretty/handsome/cute." Those things are all such positive things that it seems like no harm can come from them, but think about when they do something that isn't positive. If you praise them for being "good" in and of itself, what will they think when you scold them? They might think that they ARE "bad," even if you tell them otherwise. If you praise students/children for things that they can't control, it puts them in a precarious position. So as a corps member, I will strive to always keep the kids in the driver seat. They will be in control of their behavior and grades, and I will show them that by praising them for things that they can control. 

5. I am excited to keep observing and getting closer to knowing our placements! Also, I am excited because we got a couple of our uniform pieces and I am going to wear them tomorrow. I'll feel so official! :)

Hey, Look! It's a City Year!

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Well, I expected today to be awesome, and it mostly was! We got to go inside our school today to observe teachers and meet students, to which I have been looking forward since I got accepted into City Year last October! I think today pretty much met my expectations, but I'll go into detail while answering the other questions.

2. High points started early, at 6:00 when Shelby and I left the apartment. I decided to take the bus to school today because 1) I really don't want to fill my tank and I'm almost out of gas and 2) I didn't have time to map/ride a bike route and 3) we got our bus passes yesterday and I want to break it in! It was a rousing success. I only have to make one transfer, and even though it takes longer than it would for me to drive, I didn't have to worry about traffic, I didn't have to worry about navigation, and I could slowly awaken out of my stupor without having to be responsible for operating heavy machinery. I think I'll do it again tomorrow!

It was also awesome to meet all the people that operate in our school. Everyone we met was welcoming and many mentioned that they appreciate us being there and that they're happy we're back. It felt good and reminded me that we are "standing on the shoulders of giants" that came before us and built a good reputation for City Year at our school! We got settled into our City Year resource room, which had a whole bunch of stuff that we can use in our tutoring. I'm excited to go through all the supplies! While it wasn't necessarily fun to observe for 3 hours, I did get a good feel for the school climate and how students handle their class time, and I can safely say that I am so excited to work with these students! They were generally well-behaved and respectful to the adults in the school. I know there will be struggles, but there were some sweethearts today that I just can't wait to interact with. The students also reacted to us in the hallways and in classrooms. They muttered to their friends, "Hey, look! It's City Year!" and "Yessss we get City Year in this class!" It was heartwarming. Also, it was fun to watch parents' reactions to our power greeting as they dropped their kids off in the morning. One mom even videotaped us on her phone while her son walked by us. :)

The team in power-greeting formation!

Today was also awesome because I felt our school team really starting to click. We joked around while we were power greeting and after our observations and on our way back to our training session after lunch, and it made me really happy to start really getting close to these people that I'm going to spend most of my next 10 months with! They're pretty cool people.

Almost forgot! A totally restore-faith-in-humanity moment! On the car ride home, there was annoying traffic on 35 due to rush hour, and once we got off the highway, it wasn't much better. We were putzing along when all of a sudden, we see two men in army fatigues dash up to a van that had stalled in the middle of traffic! They talked with the driver then pushed the van into a median area out of the way. There was only two of them, so it was pretty heavy lifting. The best part: After they got the car out of the way and the driver had thanked them, they high-fived each other on their way back to wherever they came from. It was perfect.


3. While I did get up and moving on time and drank my green tea and felt like a productive human this morning all before 6am, I started to dragggggg by the time we got to professional development. I really think that the information that they gave us was extremely useful, I was just so tired that I didn't want to participate or really do anything except get the information as quickly as possible and be on my way. Which isn't really the best attitude for someone in my position. I enjoyed seeing all my friends from different school teams, but I didn't even get to talk to them very much. I was just in a very negative mood, especially compared to how much I've loved all the other sessions. It'll be my goal tomorrow to stay engaged and active the whole time during our trainings for the rest of the week. I think I'm gonna need some more trail mix (which is really just what I call my mix that is 90% chocolate and 10% dried fruit to make myself feel better).

4. There were several small growing experiences today, so I will briefly share a couple of them. On the bus, it was my first time on this route (really my first time navigating any major city's transportation system on my own) and I was a little iffy on where I had to get off near the school. So I pulled the stop request string thingy a stop too early, then realized that I didn't want to get off, and got a confused look from the driver. I told him which street I was going too, and he told me it was 2 stops ahead. So I felt like a TOTAL noob, but there was really no harm done. I mean, I'm sure that bus driver has that happen a lot. The reason it made me grow was that I realized that there's really no reason to be worried about looking like a noob. The important thing is that I got where I meant to go and I got there on time and safely. No one is really going to care if I don't know where I'm going, and if they do, then I don't really care. It's the one kind of apathy that I'm okay with.

It was also a growing experience for me today to manage when people around me complained about things. I've known for a while that I hate complaining in any circumstance, sometimes to the annoyance of, oh I don't know, EVERYONE around me. Well, City Year is no exception. Even though I wasn't really engaged by what we did this afternoon, I still defended the sessions against anyone who had anything bad to say. I warned a couple people on my team of my tendency to do that, so I hope it doesn't totally alienate me, but in the afternoon, I think I managed to defend in a way that didn't make my conversation partner feel like a jerk. That's what I am striving for: to correct someone who's complaining/defend anything that people complain about without making them feel judged or guilty. Maybe the secret is to say nothing. I'll get back to you when I figure it out.

5. Tomorrow, we aren't observing for the first couple hours. Instead, the administrators in the Diploma's Now office at Rhodes are going to serve us breakfast! I'm excited for this opportunity to get to know some of the important people that we'll be working with this year AND get to eat free food. Win-win.

Hey! It's You! You're Here!

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?


1. Today was the first day of school! I was excited to power greet (cheer everyone into school in the morning) at one of the high schools! We weren't allowed in our school yet, so we just joined Roosevelt's team for this morning. It was a blast!! There were like 50 of us singing songs and leading cheers for students as they came in. My favorite was simple: Hey! It's you! You're here! That's great, fantastic! The reactions of the students were hilarious. Many were excited and walked down our tunnel with big smiles on their faces, and some were WAY too cool and walked around a different way. And then there were the ones that made my day. They would start with a scowly face. They would walk slowly through the tunnel of cheering City Year corps members. About half way, a smirk would crack on their face. A few more steps, and they'd be smiling. At the end of the line, they were laughing. COME ON, if that doesn't make you happy, you need to check your pulse.

2. After power greeting, we all traveled to the public transit station to get our free bus passes! We had to wait in a long line, but it was worth it, because they are donating these passes to CY for free, and they could be making a ton of money off of us. While we were waiting, one of my teammates and I were standing around, and we were talking about the cheers. One of the cheers is about bananas, and at the end, we "GO BANANAS" and jump around. He had another version where the end is "MASH POTATO." So we decided it would be mandatory to actually do the Mashed Potato dance move at the end. Which led me to realize that while the Mashed Potato looks really easy, I actually cannot do it at all. So we spent the rest of the time in line practicing. And then he taught me the Charleston; bonus dance move!

After we got our passes, we rode the bus down to our school just to get the feel for it, and I actually liked taking the bus! It was a fun adventure with our school team and it made me really excited for tomorrow. But more about that in #5.

3. While we were walking around our neighborhood and power greeting, my shoes started giving me a blister! I was so mad! It seems like a small thing, but I have been wearing these shoes every day for 2 weeks and NOW they give me a blister? Not cool.

4. I grew today when we were asked to write our I Serve statements. These are similar to our Personal Leadership Mission Statement, but more specific to City Year and more concise. I knew that I wanted to include something about how lucky I've been to have the family, friends, and encouragement that I've had my whole life, but I didn't know how to include that in a concise statement. So my school team were all drafting their statements, and I asked for help from Alex and Faith, and with their help, I wrote a statement that I'm actually really proud of! This is how it looks, all official-like:

I serve because the opportunities I have been given should be available to all. 

My name is Mae Christiansen, and I proudly serve as a corps member in Rhodes Middle School.

I really like all the statements that City Year has had us make as individuals, because it does give us a chance to really reflect on why we're here. Without that purpose driving us, we won't really provide the best service that we're able to provide. It's activities like this that make me really proud to serve in City Year, because I believe what we're doing really is the best way to attack the dropout crisis and that if we stay true to our purpose, we can make a huge difference.

5. Tomorrow it's OUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!! The district approved City Year at the emergency meeting tonight!!! I'm sooooooooooo excited to see the students and the inside of the school I'll be serving for the next 10 months!!!!!!!!! Maybe I should manage my expectations......NAH, it's gonna be awesome. :)

"Is everything alright up here? There's water coming through our ceiling..."

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Today went much faster than I expected it to! The sessions were much more pertinent to our actual school service, and every session was packed with information, so the minutes tended to move pretty quickly. Something that was interesting today was that I felt like everyone was jockeying for position as far as having something planned to do this weekend. I'm always pretty socially aware (which in NO way means that I'm popular) and I could tell that during break times, everyone had their sensors out to see which group, if any, they could latch onto for plans. There were groups planning on playing True American (look it up if you've never heard of it), watching a movie in a small group, going out downtown, the whole works. It was just interesting because it added a sense of urgency to all of our break times. The high-action plans that I made with Bridget and Andrew (ugh, I mean Twerk Team Captain) were to stay in and watch a documentary. I know you are all jealous. But it was awesome. I love doing nothing with other people; it's one of my favorite pastimes! And if you've never seen Half the Sky, you need to, and I'm serious about that.

2. High points of the day were getting a lot of stuff clarified for our school service, which starts Monday for some school teams! Our district has scheduled an emergency meeting for Monday to approve CY in their schools, so hopefully (cross your fingers!) we'll be able to start serving on Tuesday. Just to clarify, there's not really any danger that they WON'T approve CY, it's just a legal formality that they have to approve us before we're allowed in their school. So it's just a matter of when. Today, we discussed ad nauseum our Corps Member/Teacher relationship, which will determine the success of our service year in so many ways. I felt like I had such a good framework set up to gauge how to navigate that relationship, having just had a fantastic relationship with my cooperating teacher during student teaching. I am SO EXCITED to get to know my teacher and start helping them! I know that my primary focus as a corps member is to help my students succeed, but I know that I can also help change the school climate by supporting a teacher who might feel like no one is on their side.

3. Low point, aside from the slight insecurity I felt before I made plans with people for the weekend, was after I got home, when I was getting the movie ready, my roommate came flying out of the bathroom. I thought, "Oh, no big deal, probably another cockroach." (P.S. I literally JUST killed a cockroach in the middle of typing that sentence; it's an old building, kay?) But there wasn't a cockroach in the bathroom. There WAS a fountain of water coming out of the toilet though. It had flooded out of the bathroom and into the hallway before I could at least get it to stop. We called maintenance, and in the meantime, our downstairs neighbors came up to tell us that water was coming through their ceiling. Whoops. We used all the towels we own to mop it up, and the maintenance man got it working again. Hooray! Even though it was pretty bad to have the bathroom flooded, I count many blessings in the fact that my roommate had just spit into the toilet and flushed it, rather than any other number of terrible things that could have been all over our apartment floors. Silver lining! And it was pretty chaotic because my friends were on their way any minute and I still had to submit my time card hours online by a deadline. I think we handled the whole situation pretty gracefully. :)

4. I think I grew today because our final circle tested my patience, and my patience did not pass that test. So every day at the end of the day, our school teams gather round to go over joys for the day and to clear up any last minute announcements before we're dismissed. So around the building, all the different school teams are doing this simultaneously and getting dismissed all hob-nob at different times. Our circle, the past couple days, has taken a little longer than other circles, and that has been hard for me. I really appreciate that our leaders are really thorough and encourage corps members to share, but I felt SO impatient watching all my friends mingle in the lobby while we were still talking about things. And these things were important, and I should have been listening. Therein lies the growth. I need to work on being fully present until the very end of the day. It is SO easy to think that the day is over when we gather for final circle, but it isn't yet. Gotta TCB until the very end. That will get easier when it's just our school team at the school for final circle, so I'm not too worried about it, but there is still room for improvement!

5. This weekend, I am excited for a huge potluck that's happening tomorrow! I am bringing dirt pudding! There is going to be such a random assortment of food there, but it will be beautiful.

On Monday, we're going to go help another school team power greet their students since we're not allowed at our school yet. I'm actually really excited, because it will be a cool effect for the students for there to be 4 times the normal amount of corps members there. And it's the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! I'm glad that even though we can't be in our own school for the first day, we can still be in A school. That's the next best thing. Nothing beats the first day of school. Except maybe the last day of school. :)

New Food Adventures

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Well, today was just a day of constantly adjusting expectations, so it pretty much kept me on my toes. Our emails weren't working properly, so most of my team didn't know that we were supposed to meet down town until we were supposed to be there. So that was fun. When we finally did all get together, we went on a tour of our school neighborhood, which was pretty similar to how I expected it to be, but I really loved it. It is in a part of town that is super-dense in Latino culture, which was awesome. We got to eat breakfast taco's at Linda's, a family owned restaurant on the West Side (first tacos for breakfast and I think someone needs to start this business in Indiana). Then we drove to our school, but not onto the campus because we're not approved to be on school grounds yet. This year, our middle school is getting 200 more students than past years, which means that the school is going to be very chaotic and crowded. Bring it on.

2. The morning was really cool, but when we got back to Region 20 (an education center we've been meeting at for training), we had some really cool sessions that I'm super glad we didn't miss. First, we organized CY Social Circles, which is exactly what it sounds like. We had corps members form groups based on shared interests so we can connect outside of work and do fun things in San Antonio! I spent most of my time talking about different sports and getting groups together to play (I am going through Ultimate Frisbee withdrawal), but I also spearheaded an Outdoor Adventure group, because I really want to go hiking. Like really. Plus book club. Awesome.

After that, we spent two hours in Self Care. That is precisely what it seems: we take care of ourselves. So this was called a Self Care Bazaar, and they had different activities for all different types of people. There were active games outside, a "reflection" room AKA nap room, yoga led by a certified instructor/CY leader, and a "belonging" room, which had crafts, games like Ellen's Heads Up and Bananagrams, and collage making. We did that for two hours and yes I feel much better taken care of now. It was really  nice to decompress after such an up-in-the-air morning.

Also, after we got done with work, Shelby and I went to get my tire replaced and while we were waiting, we met a woman who is a 2nd year corps member with Teach for America in San Antonio. She actually teaches math at one of the local high schools, and she had a City Year corps member in her classes last year! She had nothing but good things to say about her corps member and City Year in general, which made me feel even better about what we're doing. It also made me wish that Pat could have a CY in his classroom. Mostly I just wish that every teacher could have a CY in their classroom. Think of how much easier and more effective their jobs would be if they just had a little help!

After getting April her new shoes (my car her new tires), Shelby and I finally tried Whataburger! It was fantastic in a fast-food kind of way. I can definitely see why it's a Texas tradition and I will probably be seen there a couple more times this year. :)

3. Low point of today was that this morning was the first time I actually felt disengaged from what we were doing. I felt like I was doing a really good job just going with the flow, especially since I had to take my roommate in to Region 20 before I could get to where my team was meeting. And I had to avoid any highways because of my donut tire (really hard to do in San Antonio), so I had a little extra to think about. But I didn't let any of that bother me; or so I thought. I was just kind of blah, and thinking about myself being blah made me more blah because I didn't think I had any good reason to be blah. Blah! So I was really glad to connect with some of my most positive friends when we got back to the big group and that helped me refocus and let go of the frustration that I didn't even know I had left over from the morning! I love my school team already, but I can tell I'm going to  need to reach outside that group to decompress every once in a while.

4. This seems really superficial, but I realized how often I say "you guys" today. We were talking about it in one of our sessions, because we were asked to curb that habit, because apparently it's a Midwest thing and people who are learning English as a second language can get confused by the phrase and think we're referring only to males. I thought to myself, "That makes sense, I won't say that anymore. How hard can it be?" Apparently, REALLY HARD. I don't even notice when I'm saying it, so I'm going to have to replace that phrase with something more gender neutral. I apologize in advance if that phrase is "y'all". I'm pretty sure that's the only thing I can say that doesn't make me sound like a crazy woman or super serious. So I am assimilating to Texan culture. It's a real and present danger.

5. Tomorrow, we are back to a more "standard" day of training, which is exciting because it's one of our last full days of training. I'm excited to dig deeper into what my role will be with teachers and students this year! We're so close to actually beginning our service in the schools!!!!

Thunder Snow and Horse Hockey

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Bear with me, all my days are starting to run together so I forget what my expectations were for today. This week has been all about being flexible, because we haven't had a schedule all week. Last week they gave us a schedule for the whole week on Monday, so I could look at the next day and gauge my expectations. This week, no such luxury, so I've just been flying by the seat of my khaki pants. I don't really mind (even though I'm a West, and Wests are supposed to live for plans). So I guess I expected today to be a continuation of growth and breakthroughs and strengthening relationships and that's what today was.

2. High point at lunch, when a fair sized group of us were talking about weather (we were really getting deep, here, guys) and there were some of us from the north, and some who grew up in Texas or the South. It was hilarious to commiserate about running away from snow, or my very favorite weather forecast: Thunder Snow. One of my school team members shared at the final circle that she loved the conversation because she grew up in San Antonio and had never seen real amounts of snow before. She said it reminded her that some of us came a pretty long way to give a year of service to San Antonio schools. Pretty cool.

High point was meeting someone that I'll be working with this year at my school. She is the Communities in School director, which is a program that links social and community services to the local schools. She was with us today to give a presentation on mandatory reporting, or corps members' duties to report abuse or suspected abuse of students to higher authorities. It doesn't sound like a big, fun session, but going over different scenarios and what we would do was HUGE in preparing us for some of the situations that we'll end up in this year in our roles as near-peer tutors.

Another high point was talking about how to asset map our schools. Basically, that just means talking about all the good aspects of our school and how we can use that to our advantage as a corps. We started by describing a school we were familiar with to others at our table. I chose West Lafayette Jr./Sr. High School because that was the last school that I was in during my student teaching last semester. Talking about the school and the dynamics of it made me really  miss my students! Most of them are starting college this week. Weird. They are old enough to be City Year corps members and are older than some of my fellow corps members. Weirder.

3. A low point was my general sleepiness today. I was dragging during our first session and participated a little less than usual throughout the day. Maybe no one else noticed, but I could tell that I wasn't completely on my game. Hopefully going to bed at 10 will help, because that is where I'm headed directly after posting this, no regrets.

Also, I am really missing Pat this week. He is doing a fantastic job in his second year as a Teach for America corps member in the Delta region. He teaches 7th grade Social Studies in Lexington, Mississippi, about 10 hours from here. Last year, the distance thing wasn't so hard because he had experienced Purdue and knew all my usual routines and familiar friends. This year, I'm experiencing and learning so much in an unfamiliar place and making so many friends without him! PLUS, he is getting recognized for being an excellent teacher and classroom manager and helping mentor first year corps members, and I wish I could be there with him to celebrate those victories. I know that this year will be worth the time apart, I'm just feeling it especially much right now. By the way, he has a Donors Choose page set up to help him provide the best learning environment for his students. I can't stress enough how LITTLE resources are available to these children and how much it helps them to have a supportive teacher like Pat, even just for one period a day. So let's support him! Click here to visit his page.

4. We had a session on how to effectively observe a classroom today, and we focused on low-inference observations. That means factual, quantifiable observations rather than value judgments or opinions about the class. As an educator who has observed and been observed several times, this is NOT what usually happens during an observation. It is SO easy, especially if one has educational experience, to pass judgement on how the teacher conducts the classroom. We infer so many things about why and how teachers are doing instead of focusing just on the what. One interesting this about the session was the fact that these low-inference measures (i.e. how long the teacher waits between questions, how often a concept is reviewed or repeated, how often one student is called on, etc) have a stronger correlation with success measures (i.e. test scores) than high-inference measures (i.e. how interesting the class is, how much the students seem to like the teacher).

Which is interesting, because I feel like educators and students always think that there has to be the intangible awesomeness vibe in a classroom for the teacher to be effective, but really, if they employ effective teaching methods most of the time (which is extremely hard to do, by the way), it doesn't matter if students think the class is a snooze, they will still learn. Now, I think to serve the whole child and to teach social skills as well as information, there need to be some intangibles. Also, I would never want to be described as a boring or disengaging teacher. EVER. But it's nice to know that there's more to teaching than entertaining, because I was beginning to wonder.

Just to go with that, I am excited to observe teachers. I think observation is one of the most underused tools in education. We won't be giving feedback to our teachers as CY corps members, but other members of the learning community can and should. It helps so much to get feedback from someone who just steps into your classroom. I feel that teachers can get easily offended when it's suggested that someone is coming to observe them or give them feedback, and I think that's just horse hockey. I'm not going to get better shut in a room with a bunch of teenagers. It's not some giant secret how I teach students, I'm not a woman behind the curtain. It's a learned method, and it can always be improved. And the easiest way to improve is to be observed.

5. I am excited for tomorrow because we get to do a lot of self-care. If you remember, self-care is exactly what it sounds like, and involves a lot of meditation, stretching, yoga, and reflection. It's been suggested that we have TWO HOURS to do that tomorrow. Sounds like a plan.

Lily Pads and Wallet Trauma

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. I didn't have that many expectations for today other than we would probably be outside some, so it wasn't very different from my expectations. I expected to get to know my school team members better because we spent the whole day with them and did some awesome low-ropes course activities. Totally met and exceeded my expectations on that point because we got very squishy both emotionally and physically in the activities that we did, so I feel like I know everyone on a lot of different levels now. And I like what I know. :)

2. High points....Going in chronological order (note: I just had to look up "chronological order" because "temporal order" was sticking in my head and I thought that sounded super pretentious. You're welcome, plebes). Low ropes activities! We did some really fun and challenging activities and I love the unique dynamic that the games bring out in groups. Suddenly, no one cares who touches them. I mean seriously I was pressed up face to face with people I did not know 24 hours prior, and it wasn't weird at all! Well, maybe it was weird, but only for a split second and then my brain said, "Pshh, this closeness is necessary to achieve this arbitrary goal in this made-up game and it is VITAL that we succeed!!" and there's no arguing with that logic. It was really fun.

Lunch was great because one of my favorite Travelers, Andrew (who stipulated that I had to refer to him as Twerk Team Captain if I included him in this post), came to eat with us! It was awesome because the few of us talked a lot about our education (something everyone knows I hate talking about) and what we want to do after City Year. For some reason, I always talk a lot and at a rather high decibel when Twerk Team Captain and I have a conversation. Totally out of character! ;) I want to catch up with some of my other Travelers tomorrow!

After lunch we had a SUPER meaningful session on social justice and the system of oppression. It was definitely a high point, but I'll talk more about that in the "growth" section of tonight's post. Don't change that channel!

3. Low point is definitely an opportunity for story time. Shelby, Marcie, and I have been carpooling with a corps member who lives really close to us, and today was my turn to drive. So we were doing fine, on our way to our school for the day, when we starting hearing a noise. It was not super loud, but off-putting just the same. We were 2 miles from school and exiting the highway when the sound got pretty loud. Kelsey said that it looked like pieces of tires were breaking off of my wheel, so that's when I knew it was a pretty big problem. So we got off at our exit and I considered trying to make it to school. We were SO CLOSE! Like 1/4 of a mile. But I could tell I was basically riding on my rim, and that's no good, so I pulled off into a side street. I have replaced my own tire before, so I wasn't too worried about doing it again, but I was worried my passengers would be late, so they called someone who was also driving in, so he picked them up so that we ALL wouldn't be late. Meanwhile, my jack malfunctioned ---actually, it was completely user error because I forgot to put the E-Brake on. So I jacked April (my car) up, tried to remove the tire, and the jack shifted and I was back at square one. So I repeated those steps a couple more times and while I was doing that, a nice man came out of his house and asked if I needed help. I said that I couldn't get my jack to hold, and he said that he had a hydraulic one in his garage so he'd go get it. While he was on his super-helpful mission, I noticed that I was in fact just a doofus, and put my E-Brake on and jacked April up again, this time with success. Awesome-Neighborhood-Guy came back and congratulated me on removing the tire by myself and rewarded me by putting the donut on like a champion. When we got that all squared away, on of the Impact Directors from City Year had arrived because one of my passengers told them what happened, but me and Awesome-Neighborhood-Guy had totally knocked out the tire change and so we just headed down to the school. I was about 20 minutes late to the first session, so I had to walk into the gym while a speaker was talking and join my school team. Guess where they were! At the opposite end of the gym. So I had to live a junior high nightmare and walk in front of the entire corps while they were quietly listening and join my team. Thus ended my traumatic but-not-really-traumatic-just-kind-of-a-bummer morning. Now I just gotta get a new tire. Therein lies the real trauma: wallet trauma.

4. So, back to the social justice session. It was an awesome session just because it was SO uncomfortable for some people to talk about different biases and lenses that they've always had or have been exposed to without everyone getting really riled up. Like so difficult that I've only experienced a handful of environments that can handle discussing issues that are so emotional and  personal for people to talk about. This was one of those environments. It was so nice to be able to bring up issues and not fear that people would behave as if they had a personal stake in what you were saying or that their opinion of you was directly tied to the words that came out of your mouth. That's not to say that opinions weren't affected, but it felt like such a safe space, and the facilitator made sure that we knew that we were not to jump to conclusions based on what someone said. The part that stuck out the most to me was one of the assumptions that City Year makes in order to discuss these difficult topics. I can't remember exactly what it said, but it was something to the effect that Guilt Disables. That a feeling of guilt does nothing to encourage any change and does not allow for growth in social justice. Acting a certain way out of guilt does not improve the situation, but perpetuates whatever unequal structure was there in the first place. Those words affected me because often I only think of myself in terms of my privileges and at times feel guilty for what has happened historically to people who look and act differently than I do. It was empowering to know that we need to move forward past the situation(s) that caused/are causing an iniquity to happen. It's more about what can we do to improve it NOW?

Also, we talked about one of the causes of oppression is the learning of biased or incomplete histories. I wish every Social Studies Education major had to have a course in the culture of oppression, because there is SO MUCH we can do as teachers to help children to grow up with open minds. Like teaching histories of people who weren't White Europeans. Sound like a no-brainer? Think of all the events/wars/cultures that dominated your social studies curriculum. What about Latin America (other than when it was being colonized)? Africa (other than when it was being colonized)? What about women? SO EASY to think that since time and resources are limited, that you just cram in what you can and call it done. I have and will do that in my career, but I know it is SO IMPORTANT to at least acknowledge that the history you've taught does not encompass ALL history. In fact, we never could.

5. Tomorrow I am excited to learn some basics of tutoring and planning programs with the new lens that I'm wearing as a middle school tutor! Let's get specific!

Middle Schoooooooooooooool!!!!

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be? *I altered this question a little bit to make posts less redundant
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Today we found out our school assignments! As I  noted Friday, I was hoping/expecting to get placed in a high school, so the outcome was different from my expectations. I will proudly serve at a Middle School this year! At first I was a little disappointed, although happy that I didn't get placed in an elementary school and thrilled that some of my favorite Crazy Team Travelers were also at my school! I did feel better the more I thought about it though. Allow me to tell you why. :)

So the research that we've been reading and that CY bases a lot of it's methods on suggests that 6th grade and 9th grade are the most crucial years to indicate whether a student will graduate on time. If a student reaches 9th grade with failing scores in Math or English, there is only a 25% chance of them graduating on time. TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT. That's a HUGE obstacle to overcome in 3 years! So the way I  look at it, I'm going to be trying my darnedest to not let these kids reach 9th grade behind! We'll be serving 6th and 7th graders, so I can help them stay on track rather than have to help them catch up once they're already off of the track. Mainly I'm just saying that I am really excited to meet my students and start building that rapport with them!

2. Continuing that thought, a high point of the day was definitely getting to know my school team members. I knew 3 of them from our Crazy Team, so I am super excited to continue the awesome mojo we have going, but there were also people that I had never talked to before today. SO EXCITED about that! I miss my other Crazy Team members, but the way I look at it, we'll just have more to talk about when we get back together!

Other high points were learning the basics of how to tutor students by watching videos of past corps members. There was one video that was a reflection of a student who had just finished his year. He was amazing! The corps member asked questions like "What have you learned this year?" and "What do you think about City Year?" and his answers rocked. He was so positive and even said that he loved City Year and was so excited to graduate and get his red jacket and help kids go to college just like he will! It was amazing. And guess what!? He was a 6th grader at my school! Pumped.

Also a high point was all the build up to find out our school teams. I was so nervous and excited! Everyone gathered in a big room for the reveal and all the Team Leaders (TL's) gave a schpiel about their school and got everyone really excited about all of them. It was just such a joyous occasion! It sounds cheesy, but it had the potential to just be hum-drum matter of fact, and the TL's and staff made it like it was Christmas! We all received a puzzle piece and had to find our other school team members and put our puzzle together to find out our school! It was a blast.

One more high point. At my school, City Year gets its own full-size room! We get to decorate it and use it as our home base. I am SO excited about that, because it will help integrate CY as part of the school's culture. The room is right at the front of the school, so students will be able to drop by and hang out (when appropriate) and that makes me really hopeful for the school year!

3. Low point was definitely Crazy Team Traveler breaking up. There were a few that I was realllly hoping were on my school team, but I know that we'll stay in touch and that this is just an opportunity to make new friends! Gosh, I sound like I should have been placed at an elementary school. :)

One other low point is that my school is a ways from my apartment, which will make for a lengthy 1 hour bike commute. As of now, I am still fully planning on biking every morning because 1) I have no desire to pay for gas and 2) physical activity in the morning makes me feel so much more like a productive human being. So with the evidence I've gathered, I will have to leave my apartment at 6:15am. Sounds crazy now,  but I am intentionally writing down that I will bike to work so that I can hold myself accountable while being realistic.

4. I think that the reveal caused me to grow today because it reminded (once again) that what I want is not always what I need or where I need to be. I wanted to be in a high school with the closest friends I've made so far. Doesn't sounds like a very good place to really grow as a person, seeing as 90% of my school experience is in a high school. This will give me an awesome insight into teaching middle school students, which I am currently licensed to do but wholly unprepared for. Also, meeting 10 brand new people and spending ridiculous amounts of time of them can only be wonderful (judging by the last time I did that, which was last week).

5. Tomorrow, we're going to do outdoorsy stuff! I am excited to be a little active during the day and spend the day bonding with my school team! Also, we can wear cargo shorts tomorrow as long as they're knee-length and we can wear any color of tennis shoes. SO just picture it: tucked in white shirt, khaki cargo shorts with black belt, and running shoes. I'm going to be a fashion plate tomorrow.

Is you Swizzfigglin' Me?

1. What were my expectations for the day?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. My expectations for the day were high. It is Friday, and I knew even if the day was long, everyone would be energized by the thought of a couple of days off. Not that I haven't thoroughly enjoyed every day that we've been in training, just that the days have been loooong. I haven't been in a school this continuously since student teaching, and then I got to be the person who knows lots of things instead of the person who is just a goon trying to learn things. I expected the day to be similar to the others in that I got a TON out of the sessions. Not too many expectations beyond that.

2. High point that we got to talk for an hour and a half about literacy! We got to talk about our favorite books, what kind of literature we grew up reading, why we read what we do, etc. It was AWESOME and I could have talked about it for the rest of the day no problem. It reminded me of an activity we did yesterday which was reader's theatre where a group of us read a scene from Roald Dahl's The BFG, a line from which graces the title of this post. I love reading and I don't care who knows it! Secretly praying that I get to be a literacy tutor this year.

High point that we also learned about youth development today, which was SO PERTINENT to what we will be doing. We learned about what children need at different ages and how best to reach them in certain stages. For example, a child from 11-15 needs to feel like they belong more than anything, so you cannot call them out in front of their friends unless you really want to have an unhappy kid and a possible scene on your hands. I had learned about this stuff in Ed classes at Purdue, but coming at it from the perspective of helping kids who are struggling in emotional areas as well as academic, the lesson took on another layer of meaning. I love when lessons do that.

High point that I got to go deeper into getting to know people today. During our reflection time, another corps member and I revisited our life maps and basically just had a conversation about where we came from. We also had an exercise where we did an Ubuntu walk with a stranger where we try to find how we are tied to them and what we have in common. I love getting to know people on a deeper level. I was talking to my best friend from home yesterday, and we both said how frustrating it is to start from ground zero with new friends when you have quality friends from before. I long so much to have close friends in San Antonio, and I know that I will eventually. I'm just stuck in the purgatory that is trying to make friends. Okay, step back, that was super dramatic. I am not having a hard time making friends; I just can't wait until I get passed the point where I'm worried that they think I'm crazy. I want to get to the point where they know I'm crazy and they're okay with it. :)

High point that our Crazy Team got super emotional today during reflection time. I love Crazy Team Traveler so much, and even though I'll miss them when we get placed in our school teams, I am so thankful that I've had a chance to know these people. They're all pretty awesome and we are going to be a force for CYSA this year. We'll most definitely take you there.

3. Low point that I was randomly super tired today. Friday syndrome? Idk, just felt like my eyelids were heavier than usual. I'm sure a weekend off will lighten those babies up.

4. I grew today when I reflected on what I believe about education and how it should be done. We've talked a lot about education and civic policy and how it will affect our job as corps members. We talked a lot today about our relationship with our teacher and how important that is. I truly believe that City Year is a positive force in the classroom. We're doing what is proven to help kids succeed. We're helping teachers help kids, and that's a beautiful thing. I also wanted to share a quote that Dr. Drennon shared with us during her lecture earlier in the week but I forgot to post.

"There is nothing more unequal than the equal treatment of unequal people." Thomas Jefferson

This is so true. A lot of people get caught up in the "What's fair?" in education when things like Robin Hood laws get put in place and Title 1 gives poor schools more money. I'm just going to tell you: City Year does not treat all students equally. I will be serving a small group of students who have been show to struggle in attendance, behavior, our course work in math or English. While it's not "equal," these kids were not born equal to some of their peers. There is no reason for us to get tangled up in who deserves what for what they or their family has or hasn't done. It's not worth it. These kids need my help so that's what I'm going to give them.

5. I am excited to find our our school placement on Monday. Besides my dread of leaving Team Traveler, I am SO READY to know where I will be all year and who I will be working with. Just for the record, my hope for this placement is that I'll be a ELA (English/Language Arts) tutor in a high school. But you guys know that I'll will serve to my utmost wherever I am placed. :)

West Southnorth

1. What were my expectations for the day?

2. What are the high points of the day?

3. What are the low points of the day?

4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?

5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. My expectations for today were that it couldn't live up to yesterday. Not with PT moves and awesome meditation in one of our smaller sessions. I did expect to continue to grow relationships. Also, I was excited for our first time Power Greeting (something City Year does in schools where a group stands at the entrance and sings rowdy camp songs to cheer students into the school. It's super embarrassing and awkward to walk through, but you can't make it without smiling). 

2. First high point was our very first session, where we talked about Culture as an iceberg. So the parts of a person that you see when you first meet them is just the tip of the iceberg. Get it? And sometimes we make assumptions about the bottom of the iceberg based on what we see above the water. I hope you know what happens then. It begins and ends with an old lady and Rose floating away on an obviously-big-enough-for-two piece of wood. TITANICKED. But during that session, we also did a life map for ourselves and shared a part of it with the group, which was a really cool exercise. I wish I could have talked for hours with everyone about theirs, but I guess that's what the rest of this year is for. :)  Here's the picture of my life "tree" if you will. Start a conversation with me about it!

More high points! We did a session where we categorized our leadership styles based on a compass rose, so the choices were North-Action, East-Vision, South-Empathy, and West-Analysis. I came out as a West first, with South and North tied for second. It was really cool to talk to people with similar leadership styles and also hear from people with opposite leadership styles to hear their perspectives. 

After lunch, my group lead power greeting--as advertised above--and it was totally awesome. I feel like it's something you have to experience and can't be explained well here, but it's basically shouting camp songs and making it impossible to be in a bad mood as you walk down the hallway. 

The last high point was our Community Meeting led by the team leaders. They walked us through what will become a ritual for all the school teams and one of the activities was called Starfish Sharing. It basically builds off of one of the stories that City Year is based on that talks about a girl throwing starfish into the ocean one by one. A man comes up, looks at the beach filled with thousands of starfish and asks the girl, "What are you doing? There's no way you're going to be able to throw all these starfish back into the water. Why try if you can't make a difference?" to which the girl looks up, throws the starfish in the water and says, "I just made a difference to that one." BAM. Anyways, the activity is about sharing stories of students that you made a difference to, and the team leaders had awesome stories of students who were struggling either in behavior or in content areas and who had improved leaps and bounds during their year. They read letters that these kids had written to them and they were awesome. I hope I get some letters at the end of this year.

Bonus high point: We wrote appreciations to one another again today and it is quickly becoming my favorite activity. Random friendly notes to friends; what is better than that? Also, it seems people like the short hair on me! :) 

3. A low point is that one of our crazy team members decided to leave City Year. It was the one that I told you about on Tuesday. They decided that now wasn't the right time for them to take on this commitment, but they plan on joining the corps next year, which is really exciting. I'm glad I really did all that I could to support them when I knew they were struggling though, because I know I would be wondering if I could have changed their mind. No regrets! Yay! Only 10 more months to go with no mistakes! ;)

4. Something that caused me to grow today was sharing out my Life Tree. I volunteered to share knowing that I couldn't share anything but not having a plan of what part to share, so I randomly ended up sharing about my faith. It was a really cool experience because my faith has developed so much over the last four years and become something that senior-in-highschool Mae totally wouldn't recognize and would probably judge. I feel like I've come so far since then in my faith, but in most other parts of myself as well. That's what makes it so much more impressive that there are several corps members who are fresh high school graduates. They are SO BRAVE.

5. This is kind of cheating, but I am excited for tomorrow because we are getting that much closer to finding out our school teams. Pretty sure that we don't find out until Monday, but I am THAT excited! I love my Crazy Team so much, but I am getting anxious because I feel like I'm getting too attached to them to be happy working with anyone else. Sad, but true! Also tomorrow, we're breaking down City Year's Whole School Whole Child model, which has been shown to dramatically increase a child's likelihood of graduating. I'm so excited to get into the meat and potatoes of what we'll actually be doing this year!

Boom-Chaka-Laka-Laka!

Whew...this would have been better if I hadn't waited till 10 to write it. Sorry bout that, readers and self.

1. What were my expectations for the day?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. My expectations for today were pretty high because I knew that we would be switching up the routine. Also, I'm getting closer to my Crazy Team and making some great friends, so I expected to continue to be myself and see how those relationships grow.

2. SO MANY HIGH POINTS! We started with PT, which is Physical Training, which would offend any ROTC or Armed Forces member to participate in probably, but it was pretty fun! We would complete small exercises together; nothing too grueling or difficult. The purpose was not so much to get fit as to make us feel unified and pump us up! There were a lot of vocals and moves in unison and it was grand. I'd do it again and again in a heartbeat. My favorite was called Boom-Chaka-Lakas and I dare you to ask me to demonstrate the next time you see me. Do it. All the moves looked and sounded pretty powerful when we all did it together, and I've heard tell that later this year we're going to hold a whole-corps PT session in the courtyard in front of the Alamo. Awwww yeah.

After that, we had a lecture from an Urban Studies prof from Trinity University in SA. It was right up this Social Studies Brain's alley. She had color coded maps and statistics on the school districts and neighborhoods in SA and told us all about the schools that we'll be serving in and why they're struggling and why that doesn't mean that they aren't awesome. She was a great speaker and obviously knows and loves San Antonio. Made me super pumped to get to know this city better this year.

Also, our last session of the day was on how to live on a stipend. In City Year, we don't get a salary; we receive a 1000-a-month living stipend from Americorps (So thank you all for my money!) and the opportunity to receive 200 a month in food stamps (Thanks for the food too!). So former corps members and expert cheapskates gave us tips and tricks for actually saving some of our money every month. It was awesome to actually think about being in charge of my own money. I see it as a personal challenge to save as much as possible while still having fun and doing most of what I want to do. Bring it on, stipend! You're going DOWN... .....that little chute at the bank when I put you away for savings. BAM.

Last high point was that we had a time when we could all write appreciation notes to other corps members and put them in little baggies for them to read. I loved it! I wrote as many as I could jam into the time allotted and I hope they brought happiness to those who received them! I also received a few myself and they definitely gave me a boost. Seriously, nothing makes you feel better than knowing someone was thinking about you when they asked us who we appreciated. :)

3. A low point of the day (and I hope you appreciate how deep I have to dig to find one of these) was that I realized that I won't get to spend the rest of the year with Crazy Team Traveler. Next week, we get split up into our school teams, which will be great, but I am really getting attached to all these people I've been spending my days with! Good news is that these teams give us a chance to know a set of people that we won't be working with directly all year. So when my school team is just looking a little TOO familiar, I can call up a Traveler and all will be well (because they'll "take me there!").

4. I grew a lot during our after lunch session on Power and Idealism. I think City Year does an excellent job explaining why they think that Idealists are the ones that are called to change the world and why that is an awesome thing. I think it's so important to maintain an idealistic attitude without being naive. My most growing part was when we listened to RFK's Day of Affirmation Speech. In this speech that he gave in South Africa during the height of apartheid, he explains that idealism is the one thing that we can count on to promote change. He outlines four dangers to idealism: Futility, Expediency, Timidity, and Comfort. If you'd like to hear the speech, click here. It is a magnificent speech and a perfect addition to any day or situation. Hearing the obstacles that we run into on our journey to changing the world, it all made perfect sense. Why people tend to lose their fire for change when they leave college, why older people think younger people just have their heads in the clouds. Besides the fact that sometimes they do, they get caught in the traps! The two that hit me the hardest was Futility. The Futility danger is the idea that one person could not possibly make a difference. The problem is so big and so bad that I might as well not even try to solve it. I've heard this from so many people about so many issues! It's SO EASY to think that we can't do it. So I came up with a phrase that I'm going to use to evade the Futility trap:

While it's not certain that I can change the world, it is certain that I can't if I don't try.

So even though reading about the coup in Egypt and the death toll in Syria and the uproar over Russia's anti-gay laws won't change any of those issues or make any of them better, I'm at LEAST better equipped to help if I know the information than if I was complacent. Even though my serving for a year in schools won't solve the dropout crisis that we have in this country, I'm at LEAST helping solve it more than I would be if I had started my teaching career this fall. And because there are 100 other people who thought that exact same thing, we're going to work together to exact some real change in San Antonio this year. 

5. I am excited to watch the documentary Waiting for Superman tomorrow. I watched it in college, but it's been a while and I have a different perspective now, so I'm looking forward to watching it in a group. Highly recommended for all of you! It's about education in the U.S. and how it's kind of not as great as we like to think sometimes. I'm also excited to continue to deepen relationships and work my way to being close friends with this corps. I was telling my roommate tonight that it is painful to go from relationships that you've had for 4+ years and feel all warm and snuggly in to starting from scratch with a new batch of lovely people. I'm not worried, just excited to get past the awkward can-I-really-be-myself-or-is-myself-too-weird-for-normal-people stage! 

A-Ha!

1. What were my expectations for the day?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. After yesterday, I expected today to be full of "A-ha" moments and personal growth. I expected to get better at remembering CY culture pieces and to interact more comfortably with my fellow corps members.

2. Some high points were a dance party on stage where everyone did the Wobble--a very squishy moment but still very fun! Also, we began writing a personal leadership mission statement, a mission statement to incorporate the goals that we will strive for throughout our LIVES. I mean, talk about an A-Ha moment! For me, though, it came pretty easy. Wanna hear my first draft? Thought so.

As a leader, I will strive to make every community 

I touch a more positive place. I will promote a just, open, 

and accepting environment and challenge others 

to join me on the journey to becoming our ideal selves.

What do you think? I would honestly love your feedback. Also, start thinking about your personal mission! If nothing else, it gives you a great reason to pray and start thinking about yourself and your goals. 

Other high points include finding similarities between myself and my fellow corps members and learning more about the extremely diverse experiences we have had that brought us to City Year. We have so many different perspectives and it makes us so much stronger as a group because we still have a common goal that we are all SO passionate about: helping students succeed. That goal will change and it will look different for every single student the ~100 of us help, but it is still the think that we ALL have in common.

I almost forgot! We wrote a letter to ourselves that we're going to open upon graduation from the Corps. I won't tell you everything I wrote in mine, but it began with giant words: YOU DID IT! I betcha can't tell how confident I am that this program is for me. :)

I almost forgot something else (who's surprised?)! We also did crafts today!! Made some tissue paper flowers (Fiesta flowers here, because they are super popular during Fiesta, a 2 week long party in April) and friendship bracelets! I still adhere to my standard of making no friendship bracelet for myself, so we'll wait and see who will receive this beauty. 

3. A low point was that a fellow member was struggling today with wanting to leave City Year and go home. I knew that this year was going to be extremely challenging and that there would be people who chose to quit and couldn't finish for a myriad of reasons, but I was surprised that it was so soon. I won't disrespect them by discussing it any more, but I ask everyone to send positive can-do thoughts to San Antonio this week and all year, because it is certain that there are more people wrestling with the idea that they can't do this for a year. 

4. I think that writing the letter to myself caused me to grow today because I realized just how high the goals are that I set for myself. I always knew that I expected a lot from me, but today when I was writing down some of the things that I hope to accomplish this year, I found myself not even wondering if I should lower my expectations. I started writing, and I just made the decision that since I'm writing them, that's what I will have to do. It's happening because I already wrote it. Bam, I am now a fortune teller. In all seriousness, I feel like I could have written anything in that letter and be confident that I would find a way to make it happen this year. It is an amazing feeling to possess this much power over myself and my future, and I will try my darnedest to help my students feel like I did today as much as possible.

5. I am excited for tomorrow because it is structured slightly differently! I love sitting in meetings and classes all day as much as the next person, but tomorrow we start PT (Physical Training). I'm pretty sure it's not as intense (you know what else is in tents?) as what I saw ROTC guys and gals doing before any human should be awake, but it will still be moving around and it will be fun to look like goofs in our white tee's and khakis exercising! I think goofs would be the perfect word to describe how we look in our before-we-get-our-City-Year-uniform uniform. 

I Love Feeling Squishy!

So, to make this blog a little less time-intensive to me and to keep the posts shorter, I'm just going to ask myself the same questions everyday to guide my reflection. Ready? GO.

1. What were my expectations for the day?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. As far as expectations go, mine were pretty high for BTA. I had heard from an awesome woman I know who serves in San Jose, CA (Alex Rouse) how awesome City Year is and how much I'm going to love it, so there wasn't much call for low expectations to begin with. But after I completed the Summer Learning (a series of articles pertinent to serving high-need schools), I knew that City Year fits perfectly with what is important to me and what I want to do with my life. Did the day live up to my expectations? Read on, friend.

2. High points were definitely interacting with my Crazy Team, The Traveler ("Woo! I'll take you there!"). They broke us into these Crazy Teams because we're not assigned to a school yet and therefore don't have School Teams. So it's basically just an awesome group of awesome people. One of our sessions was learning team-building games that we'll play with our students throughout the year. By far, my favorite was Baby I Love You. So you're in a circle, and one by one a person turns to their left and says the words, "Baby, I love you. Won't you please smile for me?" They can say it in any voice with any motions that they want. The person they say it to is NOT allowed to smile or laugh. Needless to say, it was hilarious and I lost every time. No contest. Some people were stone cold champs at it though! I'm super excited to play with students, because we all know that teenagers need to let go of their I'm-too-cool-for-this-nonsense factor every once in a while. :) Speaking of that, one of the pieces of City Year culture is the idea of "feeling squishy." Basically, our goal is to do something outside our comfort zone every day--make ourselves feel squishy. I wish I could have majored in Feeling Squishy in college, because it makes everything so much better when everyone is outside their comfort zone! There were a TON of pieces of CY culture that we were introduced to today, and it was really awesome that we really do keep these values that are written down front and center. It was obvious that everyone who was a part of the staff really takes this job seriously, but they don't take themselves too seriously. Ideal.

3. Didn't have too many low points whatsoever today, except listening to some of my fellow first years laugh at/complain about/belittle some of the culture pieces. Understandably, some of us were uncomfortable with being bubbly and clapping and stuff like that. It's really not too big of a low point though, because it was the first day of the year and I'm sure those people will be the ones leading group songs later on. :)

4. An experience that caused me to grow today was our interaction with the City Year Values. For your reference, here are the 10 values that City Year holds most dear:

1. Service to a Cause Greater Than Self We dedicate ourselves to addressing shared civic challenges through unified action.
2. Students First, Collaboration Always
   The success of the young people we serve is our preeminent goal, best achieved by working in partnership with others who are dedicated to the same cause.
3. Belief in the Power of Young People
   We are committed to harnessing one of the most powerful forces for positive change at work in the world today.
4. Social Justice For All We dedicate ourselves to building a more just, equal, fair, and compassionate world.
5. Level Five Leadership
   We aspire to develop a culture of Level Five leadership across the organization, fostering a blend of great humility with intense professional will.
6. Empathy
   We strive to constantly walk in the moccasins of others.
7. Inclusivity
   We embrace differences as strengths that magnify our capacity to achieve shared goals.
8. Ubuntu
   I am a person through other people; my humanity is tied to yours.
9. Teamwork We strive to work powerfully together in a unified effort to achieve our goals.
10. Excellence We hold ourselves to the highest standards as we strive to execute our mission and steward our resources.

At the beginning of the day, the leaders asked us to identify the value that resonates most strongly with us. A lot of them resonate with me, but I chose "service to a cause greater than self" on the fly. When we got there, we were asked the question, "Why did you choose this value?" and I thought about it a little bit, and realized something about myself: the future doesn't scare me, what scares me is that some day I might be totally okay with living a self-contained life. One where I make money for myself and my family, go to work, come home, and that's it. I am in NO WAY saying that people who live for their families are not excellent, successful people. Only that I see myself living more of an unconventional life. I don't know what that life will look like yet; that's part of the growth. See where I'm going with this? There is a reason that this value is #1, because it really underlines everything that City Year does. We're always worried about the cause first, ourselves second. Hooray for servant leadership!

5. Tomorrow I am excited to get to know people better! Today was breaking the ice; now I want to get down to work on building these lifelong friendships that I know are about to happen!

The Calm Before the Storm

Here we go; the first post in the log of my year of service! I am writing this blog not so much for you, my readers (sorry about that if you have a self-importance complex), but for myself as a means to reflect on my experiences here in San Antonio. I hope that this is a wildly entertaining read for you, but I'm not too worried if you get bored after reading one post either. No pressure! :)

Tomorrow marks the beginning of our Basic Training Academy, where we will learn more about how to help students in San Antonio schools! I am beyond excited to begin this journey. Ever since I began looking into City Year as an option for me after graduation from Purdue, I have felt that it is exactly what I am meant to do with this year of my life. The more literature about City Year and all that it stands for just solidifies that for me. It really is perfect for me to postpone my career by one year to get this unique and valuable experience working with my peers in a place I've never been in schools that are nothing like any that I've attended. This blog as my witness: I am beginning this year with a positive attitude and no dreams of quitting before I meet my 10 month commitment in San Antonio! We'll see how those views change and grow as I write in this little box every night...we'll see if I even meet THAT goal! :)

So far, I am thrilled with Texas and San Antonio. I loved having Mom here to help me move in and I hope seeing where I'm living helped her feel a little less like I was jumping over the edge of the world with both feet. There have been a few shindigs where I've met other Corps Members that I'll be working with this year and I am really excited to dive farther into this extremely unique community of young people who want to make a difference.

That's all for now. Time to hit the hay so I can look super-awesome in my khaki pants, tucked in white shirt combo tomorrow! Watch out!