Chicho Boys

It's getting harder and harder to motivate myself to write a blog post. But I pretty much live off of affirmation from my friends and family, and I know the only way to get that is to tell you all how it's going.

Right now it's going. Our afterschool program is well-attended, but behavior is proving to be a huge stumbling block. Today I planned a fun outing, taking the students outside to play some frisbee (the theme was college culture), and they were roughhousing a lot and pushing each other even though I reminded them seconds before we went outside that we had to respect each other. So I lectured them. Which I hated. I told them that I their behavior was unacceptable and that they were being extremely disrespectful to people who were there to plan fun activities for them. It was extremely disappointing.

Not that I don't believe that high expectations are the fuel of learning, but I think mine were too high for the maturity level of my students. I have worked with mature-for-their-age highschoolers for 4 years, so I suppose I am assuming too many similarities between that group and my current group of 6th graders. I don't really know how to handle that disparity.

I have been pulling my focus list students out of class the past couple days to work on concepts, and that's been going well for the most part. Most of the students I take are happy to go, some are complacent. I took an extra kid who is normally a behavior problem in class in my group today to ease some of the burden off my teacher. It was a great set-up until he had to leave for a doctor's appt. 

I know this post is poorly organized, but I don't really know what else to say. There are things that have happened that I'm happy about.

Yesterday I went produce shopping at Chicho Boys Fruit Market, which sells Grade B produce from the packing district for ridiculous prices. See receipt below; I'm telling you, the prices are ridiculous. So that was thrilling. Haha

Also, I got a group together to play ultimate frisbee tonight, and it was a success! We played a whole game after work before it got dark, which is 7:30. Blah.

And tomorrow most of my school team is going to the Spurs home opener against the Memphis Grizzlies! It'll be fun to watch and be in a full NBA stadium. 

I would love to hear from anyone who reads this. I'm feeling kind of desperate for any ideas on how to be more effective and I'm just getting frustrated when things don't go as planned. And I miss the people I love. 

"Yay!"

Today was much better in pretty much every way from the past few days.

I did my first "pull-out" tutoring session during class today, and when I told one of the students that he'd be spending some time with me at the beginning of class, he literally said, "Yay!" 

Also, a positive from a couple days ago was that I had to talk to a student about his behavior in our afterschool program, and I said, "You know, I want this to be fun for you and I would really rather not have to yell at you ever." And he responded, "Miss, you've never yelled at me!" I'm glad he feels that way.

Also, a student led a couple cheers today during power greeting and his normal outgoing self turned into adorable shyness. 

One of the teachers that I've only spoken to once came up to me while I was working in the library, patted my back, and said, "You guys are such a blessing to this school." :)

Today was the dance. And I completely forgot how awful/wonderful junior high dances are in every way. It was comforting to know that this dance was extremely similar to my own junior high dance experiences. City Year had a VIP room set up for students who had kept 100% attendance for the first 9 weeks, complete with games, face paint, and a photo booth! A few students hung around in there for the entire time and I heard "This is way more fun than out there!!" more than once. One of my students lost to me at Jenga and then kept challenging me to games as a "rematch." I obviously didn't let any of the kids win on purpose because then what would they learn? 

Also, I had a good "Boiler Up!" moment with a teacher at my school who is a fellow Purdue alum because today was college shirt day and I obviously was wearing my Old Gold & Black. And it just so happened that when Alex said he didn't really have a college shirt, I made sure I brought a Purdue shirt for him to wear. How lucky! 

And yesterday a 6th grader who lives in Alex's apt. complex and hangs around his roommate asked for help with her homework, so I obliged. In the middle of our testing for factors of numbers, she said, "I like you, Mae, you're cool." :)

In the midst of all the negativity I've gotten from students the last couple days, there have been a lot of positive things, so I wanted to make sure I reflected on those. My mind finds it much easier to dwell on students who don't like me or reject me and downplay the ones who show me affection and approval. I'll work on letting those dominate my thoughts. 

Tomorrow is a half day!!!! For the students, that is. But we get to have a team potluck for lunch and I'm bringing apple cider. Yummmmm. 

The Riddle

Today was not great.

I've gotten a little off track from what I'm supposed to be doing as a corps member in the classroom. I've been so focused on helping my teacher regain control of her classroom and redirecting all the students who are off task. I think it's valuable work, and I can see that what I'm dojng is helpful, but it's not what I'm supposed to do as a part of City Year. I am supposed to focus on those students that are within reach of success and failure at the same time. Those students who have potential but are getting swallowed by the system. So I've got to redirect my attention from saving the class from certain destruction to helping my students save themselves from becoming collateral damage.

Which sucks. I really want to help my teacher create a successful learning environment where all her students can learn effectively. But that is not my job and I understand that I will not be able to do both things. So I have to help my focus list students first, and then contribute to my class.  Lesson learned the disheartening way.

I felt a lot better when I went on a run this evening and was reminded why I do this job. I live in a really nice area of San Antonio and I was running around my residential neighborhood when I ran by a junior high school. It is not a part of the inner city district and is one of the highest-achieving schools in SA. The inequality was staring me in the face. I was running by the houses of children that went to this school and I could see how my students are robbed of so many things that lead to success. I saw a girl hanging Halloween decorations in her yard until her dad drove up and she yelled "Daddy!" and ran up to him (yes, that seriously happened in real life) and there were kids sitting on the porch working on what I assume is homework. It reminded me of my school in West Lafayette where parents would be worried about a 5-point in class assignment missing and my students' biggest day-to-day concern was where to park the cars that were given to them by their families.

It's not fair. My students didn't choose the lifestyle they live here. They didn't choose to go to my school or live in the neighborhood or have the responsibilities they have. But they will choose what they know if they don't see there is a viable second option that is desirable to them. And that's what I'm supposed to be helping them with. I don't feel very impactful at this moment, but I believe I can help these students see the second option by helping them see that they can be successful in school. I think I can. My students are smart kids who are plenty capable of being successful in school if they put forth the effort. The riddle lies in finding a way to motivate them to do well academically.  

Cop-Out Post

Too lazy to post about today. It was training, I missed my kids at school! They were taking a benchmark test, so I couldn't be in the room any way, but I still missed them.

So anyway, here is a website that makes fun of CY in a goodnatured way. A lot of the jokes are of the inside variety, so sorry if it's not as amusing to you as it is to me. :)

http://whatshouldwecallmycityyear.tumblr.com/

FYI:

CM - corps member
TL - team leader, sort of our boss
PM - project manager, legitimately our boss and our TL's boss
FL - focus list

The Competitive Nature of Sixth-Graders

Today I will write things that I am grateful for, providing vignettes from my day for color and context (yes, quite).

I am grateful for sixth-graders' unabashedness. They will say whatever is on their minds, and their minds are weird. Two days ago, I was working with Charlie, and somehow mentioned I was from Indiana. And he instantly said, "Aw, Miss, is that why you have to wear your hair like that?!" When I told him that people from Indiana, in fact, can wear their hair however they please, he seemed legitimately surprised. 

I am grateful also for moments of innocence from students who I thought were jaded. Today in one class, a student who was significantly behind in his superhero story was wasting time, so I went up to him and said, "what's going on man? We don't have time to waste!" He exasperatedly put his head back and said, "but, ugh, this is boring!!" So I was already kind of frustrated with how off task the rest of the class was and how far behind they were, so I came back quickly with, "you know what is even more boring than this? Staying in sixth grade the rest of your life." His reaction was terrifying and endearing. His eyes got huge and he picked up his pencil and said "miss, if I do this can I move up to seventh grade?!" I had not expected such a candid reaction from him, and was quick to say that yes, of course, and that we had plenty of time to make up te work he was behind on, but sheesh did that light a fire under him!

I am grateful for the competitive nature of sixth graders. A group of students was acting out during class while they were supposed to be writing. So I sat down at their table and told them I would write with them. That didn't work well, so I said, "I bet you guys can't sit here an work for five minutes without talking!" And started my watch. The next five minutes were the quietest of my day. They didn't even stop to realize that I hadn't actually bet them anything. The challenge was enough.

I am grateful for my after school co-coordinator. We had our introductory unit this week, and everything went off spectacularly! Running an after school program is a pretty complex task, especially coordinating a team that is as inexperienced at running an after school program as you are. But my co-coordinator and I have managed to pull it off and we already are averaging double the attendance from last year! 

I am grateful for the wonderful Diploma's Now team at my school. We have awesome curricular support and today our English/Language Arts curricular expert gave all the ELA tutors a rundown of what writing looks like on the STAAR test (Texas standardized test). It will make me so much more effective to know what they'll be expected to do next year! 

I am thankful for all my supportive friends back home! I know I can call any of them and talk for an hour to renew my spirit and regain my motivation! It's awesome to hear about the things you all are doing because I can feel pretty isolated down here. 

But I am grateful for the friends I've made in San Antonio. I can tell some of these people are going to be in my life after City Year and that contributes to this year being way more than worth the hard work and long hours.

Lastly, I am grateful that I can wear clothes that are not my uniform tomorrow! Joy of all joys.

My Shoelace has had Enough

Today was the coldest day so far: 63 degrees. It was also rainy, however, which added a complication not only to my morning, but also created a huge hike in our schools' absences today. 

Today Josue and Charlie were both absent from my classes, but I noticed my impact directly on another student, we'll call him Jesus (Hay-soos). So Jesus normally is super disruptive in class, but he can generally get work done when instructions are repeated (he is often talking through instructions and misses ten). So today, he was extremely disruptive at the beginning of class, but as soon as I focused my attention dokey on him by kneeling next to him, and explained exactly what he should be doing, he got on task and worked, even when I walked around the class. All it took was a direct intervention in his behavior! Very rewarding. 

Afterschool went swell today!! At the end of the program, we did a group share of "highs and lows" and 2 out of 3 highs were about coming/joining after school! It was great. They made up the rules that we're going to follow during our program, and a lot of them came up with some awesome rules, as well as spot-on reasons for why we need to have rules! I was very proud to be in charge of that group today. 

My shoelace stayed in place all day, through 10 hours at school, eating dinner at the Rusty Bucket, and walking through Walmart, and then came untied  as I was approaching my apartment door. What's that all about? On the other hand, I kind of know how it felt. 

Good night.

ESL and Mariachi

I am updating this blog from the cozy comfort of my own bed. It happens to be an air mattress that is not meant for permanent use. Crazy, you say? Perhaps. But if I can make it through the year without acquiring a twin mattress that I probably won't have any use for in the future and certainly have no desire to transport, I will. And honestly, I still get the there-is-no-feeling-like-laying-down-in-bed-after-a-long-day feeling, so why give up now?

Today was a good day, but it was hard to come ban to school after we had a three day weekend, especially since the students did not. So they were all, "where we're you?" And we were all "... Uh, sleeping..." 

Except I was not sleeping! I had an all-day interview with Teach For America! I've gone back and forth on my opinion of the program and it's effectiveness at minimizing the achievement gap, but I believe I could be an effective teacher with TFA support, and I would especially love a community of young teachers around me for my first couple years. So, I hope I get the position! I'll find out on Halloween, and they'll make me an offer in a city they choose to place me in and then I can take or leave that offer. We will see. 

So, anyway, today was a little hard. I made some progress with a few students though! For example, a student that previously told me to "shut up and get away" didn't ignore me when I talked to him today! Let's call him Charlie. So Charlie has been a big issue in class because he not only gets zero percent of his work done (literally all he accomplished one class period was scratching out the name he had written on his project the previous day) but he will talk incessantly to all of those around him thereby dragging everyone down. Normally, I try to be really real with him, taking the tack of "seriously? What are you doing? Do you realize that a zero on this project will be hard to recover from? Do you want to repeat this class? If you don't like it, te inky way to get out is to do your work" and his typical response is to turn his back to me physically and ignore me. 

But today! He talked back to me. He told me I was annoying and asked why I cared whether he did it or not. So I told him it hurt me SO MUCH to watch him waste himself and let himself down by. doing. absolutely. nothing. I also told him that he could be as mean to me as he wanted, but I wasn't intimidated by him and I didn't think he was funny, so he might as well stop trying to bully me. He didn't sound impressed, but he didn't turn away, so I asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. He didn't give a straight answer, but I gathered that he didn't want to be a junior high student for life, so it was a little productive. And then, he cursed at another student, but apologized to me for doing so. That showed me that he respected me, however little. I can tell I'll be able to reach him, if even just cracking the surface.

Josue did not have a good day in class today but he asked if he could eat lunch with me, so I might try to do that tomorrow.

And the after school program started today!!! It was fantastic! The only hiccup was that a few people came who hadn't turned in permission slips, so they couldn't legally stay, but they took the slips to get signed so they can start coming tomorrow! I hope that it becomes the cool thing to do; I am proud to say that a few of the kids that I know are popular we're in attendance. It's only a matter of time. Muahaha.

A few of us stayed after after-school to help at the ESL parent night for parents of kids in our English Second Language program. It was awesome to see the parents and hear the principal speak to them in Spanish. Our school has so many great resources to help these students learn English! 

AND our mariachi band played. That's right, our school not only has band and choir, but also mariachi. They were excellent, had their music memorized (4 songs!) and there was even some singing. I love San Antonio! 

The only bummer of the day is that I got a blister from sharpening too many pencils. I know, happens to the best of us. 

Anecdotal Evidence

Overall, a really fun day. Here are a few anecdotes:

We had 16 students in tutoring after school! A 50% increase per day this week!

I got a work plan made up for the entire year for after school lesson planning. It's color-coordinated in rainbow order.

A class of students applauded me when after I gave a short presentation about our after school program during their homeroom-type class.

A few students kept accidentally calling my teammate Alexandr "Ms. K" or just "Miss." I might have encouraged a kid to say "Bye, Ms. K!" when they left tutoring. I also might have high-fived that kid after he did it.

There was a dead cat in a box outside the school today. At least, I think it was a cat. One student described it as "a cat and a dog mixed together and cut open." I did NOT go see for myself. 

3 students sat outside and read books with us for power-reading!

A student I had never met needed help on English and Social Studies homework. I was floating around having students sign-in for after school and I told him how much I loved social studies and how much I'd love to help! When I was leaving, he said, "Miss, are you gonna come back?" 

3 students that came to after school tutoring were on the football team and missed part of practice to get extra help. It was the day after progress reports went out, so it probably wasn't their choice, but still!

My friend Bridget told me that she was talking to a TFA recruiter and mentioned my name. He remembered me and said that I had written really good essays on my application! That got me all fired up for my final interview that's coming up Monday!

I got a box of random stuff from my mom! It included open bags of dried goods, 3 pairs of sunglasses, and a box of tissues. 

"Miss, My Backpack Closed?"

Today was great!

Reasons why:

1. My teacher's TFA supervisors came in today to conference with her (and me!) about our issues in class. They had a lot of good ideas, most of which centered around my teacher being herself as much as possible. It was a conflicting message from what the administrators have been telling her (basically to be meaner to the kids) but I think it was really valuable. If you have a personality that can be strict and hard, kids will respect you for that and behave well. But if you have a personality that is more compassionate and caring, you can't MAKE yourself be strict and hard because kids can tell and 1) they won't respect you and 2) you won't like yourself or who you are while you're teaching. And the TFA people complimented my teacher and me for how well we're working in the classroom and said that they'd never seen a TFA/Corps member pair work so closely together. :D

2. Josue cheered outside with us again and (shock!) so did they student that he had been fighting with! Even though having students outside is distracting sometimes and might diminish our cheering a bit, it was amazing to see those boys interact kindly with each other! Also, Josue led one of the cheers with me. :)

3. I told you yesterday about my awesome super hero, Mr. Popular. Well, the next step in our students' imaginative stories is for them to partner with another super hero/villain in class and then use that character to create conflict in their story. A LOT of students, some not even in the classes that I help, chose Mr. Popular as their partner/nemesis! They were telling me about it all day and saying how excited they were to beat up on my superhero. It was awesome! :D

4. 11 students came to after school tutoring today! Almost double from yesterday! And we got some permission slips returned from students for our full program starting next week! Plus, some of my toughest behavior students were there! I'm so excited to spend time with them where I don't have to constantly redirect them and they can see me in less of a structured environment. Hopefully our numbers will keep increasing!

5. One of the students that used to be in a class that I helped got transferred up to Pre-AP. I mentioned him before. Well, he now has class right after one of my most difficult classes. So today, I was cleaning up after that class and I was feeling pretty flustered because they were being pretty disrespectful and off-task. So he comes in and steps on my foot (something he has done every time I've seen him for the past couple weeks). It made my heart smile because I had just been laid low by this earlier class and it was nice to have that familiar sign of "affection" from one of my students. It just made me breathe a little better and laugh a little. :)

6. Every day after class, one student always stands up, puts on his backpack, turns his back to me and says, "Miss, my backpack closed?" Makes me chuckle on the inside every time.

7. One of my more off-task students stayed after school and I helped him catch all the way up with his super hero story board! He was reluctant and may have said that he hated ELA a couple times and may have rejected my high five, but he was ALL caught up by the end, which made me do a dance on the inside! And maybe a little on the outside.

Extra Brain Power Expenditure

Alright, all, I'm ditching the questions. Writing the blog had become more of a chore than I liked, so I've got to make the structure a little looser so I won't just decide not to do it. I'll still try to hit the basic points, but you'll just have to hold on to your hats and guess which question I'm answering. Sorry for the extra brain power expenditure.

So today was a Monday. I had a really fun weekend with lots of activities, which I will quickly rundown. Friday after work I played some basketball with Alex in a park by a Salvation Army. There's a pretty interesting crowd that gathers there, believe it or not. Then we met some friends downtown for First Friday, the shindig that happens in SA ever first Friday of the month with all sorts of live music and craft vendors. Then Saturday Alex and I did some morning Power Yoga that made me feel pretty NOT powerful. We signed up for this free week at a studio so we wanted to get our free's worth. But then there was a farmer's market going on so we noshed on some crepes and walked around the Pearl Brewery Area, which was really pretty awesome! Then some people came over that night and went swimming with Shelby and I at our apartment pool, we went out for Thai food (and bubble tea!!) and chilled out while watching an episode of Will & Grace. Sunday, Shelby, Ryan, and I went to church and then the pastor and her family took us out to lunch at Fidelo's, which may have been the best Mexican food I've had since I've been here--and that's saying a lot. Then I went back downtown for a pushcart derby that was happening, which wasn't as exciting as the flyer made it sound, but still worth seeing. I then did laundry and called my family. A great relaxing weekend!

So now that we have that out of the way, it's safe to say that Monday was a little hard to get back in the swing of working at school. There were some great parts though!

Josue has been cheering outside with us in the mornings for the last couple days! He chose to stay outside and give high fives with me rather than go inside with the other sixth graders because there's another boy that he can't seem to get along with. I told him it was a good idea to stay farther away from him, because they're both my friends and I don't want them getting into trouble. And he really kind of likes the cheers! He was singing one of them in class.

Also, we're writing imaginative stories in my teacher's class. The students are making up super heroes and giving them 5 strengths and 5 weaknesses. So my teacher asked me to make one up so we could both use ours as an example. I made one up--his name is Mr. Popular, and he's shockingly very closely relatable to most of my students. The best part was when I offered to share my super hero with the class, they all stayed quiet. Even the class with the terrible behavior! I had to remind a few of them a few times, but it was heartening to see that most of them were really interested in what my super hero was like. I'm gaining some ground!

Today we started tutoring after school, but only 6 kids showed up. We haven't started our full after school program and the advertising for tutoring was pretty last minute, so I'm not that disappointed in the turnout. However, tiny part of me (the same part that cries at the end of Cool Runnings) was hoping for a huge number of kids. I will reach that huge number, mark my words!

I'm excited to see the numbers for after school grow as we get into the swing of things, as well as continue to see improvement in the class with the worst behavior. I will help the kids that want to learn in that class, and while I'm at it, I'll help the kids who don't want to learn.

Penat Buter and Gelly

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Today was a little worse than I expected it to be. I think I was a little complacent because yesterday went so well, but we were in the library yesterday, and today we were back in the classroom, so all the students were up to their old tricks. It really is getting destructive in one of my classes and students who want to learn are not able to, literally. So hopefully my teachers and I can meets to come up with some kind of solution because it's really out of hand. I expected behavior to be a little bit of a challenge today, but we were playing a review game, so it should not have been nearly as bad as it ended up being. Stay tuned.

2. We distributed our student survey and got a lot of awesome feedback! A LOT of students wrote that they were either very interested or somewhat interested in attending our after school program, so that is really exciting. We also rolled it out to the team and talked about our procedures for submitting lesson plans and all that, so it was nice to finally have thew hole team on the same page about it. There was a space for students to write in topics that they were interested in learning about, and we got a lot of serious answers that will help us a lot in planning our units, but we also got some creative answers, such as "penat buter and gelly," "apps on my phone," and "how to solve life's problems." If only I knew about these things! 

Also, we started pulling out potential focus list students to do an assessment with them, and as I was pulling a student out to work on hers, we were walking down the hallway and talking and she said, "Miss, you're cool." Ahhh, music to my ears.

Josue has been doing much better in class! He's working towards earning one of my felt-tip pens if he doesn't say anything mean to anyone during class. He almost got it today, but then he called someone a name I won't repeat here. He is doing leaps and bounds better in his other classes, and I'm excited for the day that he'll earn the pen from me!

3. This one class is just terribly out of control. A high-low point was a student in class who put his head down mid way through. I asked if he was okay and he said that he couldn't play the game because he had a headache from all the talking. It broke my heart! He wanted to participate but couldn't. So after school, he came into my teacher's room and asked if he could finish the review game on his own since he couldn't during class. HE is the reason that I am going to regroup and redouble my efforts to rein in this class. My teacher doesn't like to be a strict disciplinarian, so I am going to offer my services in that area, because I am beyond the point of caring if the students like me. I have asked them nicely to be quiet over 10 times and they have disrespected me and my teacher to our faces. It's time.

4. I grew today when Lexie and I presented our After School program plan to the team. It was awesome to get reactions and input to the work that we have been doing so far, and I learned a lot from the questions and reactions from the team. I realized that I think my high expectations for this program can be met. We are working to put a structure in pace to support our teammates as they plan units and lessons. After getting student feedback from the survey, I am so optimistic about our program!

I also grew while I was troubleshooting my problem class with Pat over the phone. He is a literally award-winning classroom manager, so talking to him about this taught me how little I know about how to manage a middle school classroom. I taught seniors and the sweetest group of freshman imaginable during student teaching. All the students were highly-motivated internally and externally. I didn't have to make up a behavior rewards and punishment system. I am SO SPOILED. That ends now.

5. I am excited to meet with my teacher tomorrow to plan a new attack on our most disruptive class period. Something has gotta give with these students, we can't go on like this!