Awkward Thumbs-Ups

Sorry for my hiatus from posting! Every once in a while the voice inside my head that tells me that reflecting everyday is a healthy practice and that a lot of my friends from home are reading about my journey gets drowned out by the voice that says sleep is a healthy practice and that no one is reading this anyways. I'll try to sort those voices out. In the mean time:

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. I expected today to be like the step back in "two steps forward, one step back" because we missed school on Friday for our full day of City Year training. I enjoyed the training, especially seeing everyone again, but I missed being at school and I thought about my teacher often as well as about my students who normally are really disruptive, including Josue. But today was great! A lot of them said, "Miss, you're back! Where have you been?" It was nice to be missed. Josue even said that he wishes I could go around to all his classes with him. Dawww. It was certainly a smoother transition than I expected.

2. A student called me Miss C! Until now, most students just say "Miss! Miss!" and don't really care whether they get me or my teacher to come help them. But today! They said my own name! It's the simple pleasures.

Also, students are getting to be pretty open, almost too much so. One sixth grader was really excited to tell me that he danced with a seventh grader at the dance they had on Friday. I gave him an awkward thumbs up for lack of anything else to say.

Another student came up to me before school and showed me his schedule, which he said had changed. He got moved up to Pre-AP English with my teacher! I was so excited for him, and I told him so, but he said that he wouldn't have me any more in class. I said I'd still be there during the flex period and whenever he wanted to talk to me. It was sweet that he was bummed about that, but there was so much to be excited about because he moved up!

Also, this morning a random lady and I shared a smile over two young girls and their mother when they got on the bus. Their hair was all done in braids and they had cute little bobbie socks on. I love sharing smiles. And then she complimented my hair and asked how I got it to curl just so. I told her I let it do what it wants and try not to anger it.

3. Attendance calls were a pretty big disaster today. Normally, we get a list of students who were absent from our attendance clerk during 3rd period so that late students have come in. We then take that list and call the ones who are absent to find out why they are absent/when they're coming back. Today, we got the data and made the calls, but several parents told us that they had dropped their kids off and that they had no idea why they would be absent. This happens a few times every day, and the parents find that their kids have been skipping class or wandering around, but today it was a lot. Come to find out that the attendance clerk gave us the absent list from the WRONG DAY. We had called so many wrong parents and their kids were actually in school! It was terrible. We had to call everyone back and apologize, which was really embarrassing. THEN we had to start the process all over again with the right list! It made us look really bad, but the mistake wasn't even our fault. The process took twice as long, unsurprisingly.

4. I grew today when I kicked my butt into gear and went for a run. Since moving to San Antonio, I have eaten my way all around town. Everyone needs to come visit me, if only for the delicious food. I have zero regrets about the amount of tacos and barbecue I have consumed, but I have regrets about the sedentary nature of my life to date. So, to reconcile with myself, I will exercise every day, and let myself indulge in whatever delicious food I desire within reason. We'll see how well it works out, but I know as soon as I leave San Antonio I will wish I had eaten infinitely more tacos, so there's no sense in depriving myself! Right?

5. Lexie and I are going to distribute our After School student interest survey tomorrow! I'm excited to start building our after school program into something that is really cool for students and that they can get a lot out of and grow into amazing young adults!

Competition makes everything better. As do funny hats.

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Today was pretty on par with what I expected. I may change this question, because I'm getting bored with it and don't really have an interesting answer to it every day. What would you guys like to know? 

2. High point during power reading before school: 3 corps members were reading books that I lent them!

I finally got to sit down with my teacher and hash out some goals we have for the year! It was fun to get to know her a little better but also come up with fun stuff we can do with the class. For example, one goal they have is to read 40 books during the school year. My teacher and I are going to challenge them by reading books ourselves and competing with the classes. We haven't decided what the prize will be if they beat us, but it will probably involve us making fools of ourselves in some way and may involve silly hats. So far, I have read 3 books this school year. Some kids are kicking my butt and some haven't finished 1. 

3. I had to take my student to the principal's office today. Since I've talked about this student a lot, I think I'll give him a fake name for blog purposes. So, henceforth he will be known as Josue (Ho-Sway) because I really like that name. Since I've given Josue that journal, he's used it in most of his classes and told some other corps members about it, which is great! The only thing is that it's not helping enough. He still curses at teachers and other students so the teachers kick him out of class (understandably). So he was just bumming around the hallways and I left our class, with permission, to see what he was doing. A teacher came into the hallway and said he needed to go to the principal because he was being disruptive all day. So we tried to track down an administrator, but they were all busy, so I just took him back to the class he was supposed to be in and the teacher let him come back in. Also, Josue usually turns his journal back into me at the end of every day, I rip out the pages he wrote on to signify a "new start", and give it back. Today I didn't see him after school, so I didn't get it back. Fingers crossed he didn't leave it at home! Or, even worse, left it somewhere that someone could pick it up and read it, because I tell him that he won't get in trouble for anything he writes in there as long as he doesn't say it out loud. And he takes advantage of that.

4. I grew today when I sat outside with two school employees during their lunch break. One of them was the data clerk for the school, and she handles a lot of the attendance issues that the school has. So Alex and I were telling her where we were from and why we are serving, and she told us some of the problems that kids have. It was really interesting because most of the kids she deals with we have no contact with because they're the ones who simply don't come to school. She described a 17 year old who has come in to enroll in our middle school, but came in to sign up 12 days ago and only just made it back in today. He sat through lunch and then told her that he was going to leave. It was so sad to listen to, but it reminded me that there has to be a point where a student decides for him or herself that they are going to try and be successful or that they are just going to give up. On one hand, I am so distraught for their situations and I worry about them, and on the other hand, I'm just dumbfounded. That there are people out there with no middle school education who work every day, maybe even get married and have kids, and have life satisfaction. For myself, I can't imagine being satisfied with my life if I knew that I could have achieved more or if I thought I wasn't trying my hardest. It's just confounding to me and I'm not sure I'll ever understand that people are satisfied with much LESS than the status quo. 

5. I am excited to hear back from the principal about our after school proposal and hopefully roll out the student survey. To stay on track for beginning our after school program on October 7, we've got to get the survey back ASAP!

Also I'm excited to be back to playing volleyball tomorrow night. 

Be Quiet, Miss is Reading!

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?

2. What are the high points of the day?

3. What are the low points of the day?

4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?

5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Today went much faster than I am used to expecting, and everything went really well. My classes are slowly improving in behavior as I try out different methods of interacting--or not interacting--with them in class. 

2. High point #1 was during power greeting and there's no way it's going to be as funny in this post as it was in person, let's just get that out of the way. We do a chant in power greeting that goes as follows:

Corps Member: "My name is [name] and you know what I got?!"

Rest of team: "WHAT DO YOU GOT?"

Corps Member: "I gotta team that's hotter than hot!"

Rest of team: "HOW HOT IS HOT?"

Corps Member: "Batman and Superman"

Rest of team: "UH-HUH UH-HUH"

Corps Member: "Can't do it like [name of other corps member] can!"

Rest of team, while the called-out corps member dances: "GO [name] GO [name] GO..."

Other corps member takes over, and so on

So we were doing this cheer, and it gets a little silly because we're using our last names that the students call us by, like Miss C, and Miss Liquez, and Mr. Perez, etc. Today, one of our team members, JoAnn (Miss San Miguel) got called out and she faltered on her first line and it came out "Me name is..." in a hilarious voice. I would best describe this voice as the voice of an Irish pirate. Anyways, we all completely lost it and the cheer devolved into hysterical laughter. It was awesome, and the kids definitely saw that we were having a good time.

Also a high point was that I tried something different with the difficult class today! Instead of walking around and redirecting them, I practiced doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing. I read silently, I took notes, I waited quietly for instructions. It actually worked during reading time!! I was sitting at a table that is notorious for giggle-fits and outbursts, and I sat down and started reading. They eyed me, but read for a bit and then started talking. I looked up from my book and said quietly, "Excuse me, I'm trying to read." and they were quiet!! A couple minutes later a student hushed another student and said, "Be quiet, Miss is reading!" It was partly for the laughs, but it wasn't disruptive! I was thrilled that the students who wanted to read at least had a little more of a quiet atmosphere to do it even if some students still chose to sit in their seats and not read. At least they were quieter! Also, at the end of class, one of the students who knows me said, "Where were you all period, Miss? You weren't in here while I was in here!" I told him that I was but that I was quietly doing what students were supposed to be doing. He was shocked! :)

Also the weather has been GORGEOUS the past couple days. Highs in the mid-80's with it being closer to 60 in the morning. I will totally be able to do that for 9 more months.

Also I got to hang out with Alex after school and go with him to buy a violin, attempt to go to a yoga class but get lost and decide to go tomorrow instead, and try a healthy Mexican place close to my apartment I've been eyeing. It was a great way to spend my evening!

3. While I was trying to model good behavior for my students, some students were misbehaving in other parts of the class. I guess I'll keep having to try to figure something out, but at least there's a slight improvement. 

There are tiny little "low points" throughout the day, but today the little "high points" outweighed them, so I really don't have much to add in this section. Hooray!

4. I grew today when I thought about how much the phrase "I'm proud of you" can mean to a student. It always seems awkward to say to anyone. But why? Is it that it implies some sort of ownership or superiority to that person? I feel like that's what often stops me from saying it. I've been intentional about saying it to Pat a lot, because there is SO much to be proud of him about. It's always worth saying because I know that I love it when my parents say it, even if it makes me blush. So today I used it with my students generously. Because I am proud! I am proud when my student does something that I ask them to do! I am proud when a student ignores the boy saying something really hurtful to him because we talked about not giving that bully what he wants! I am proud when a student shows me the creative story they wrote about dinosaurs. I just am, so I told them. And when I told them, it occurred to me that they might not hear that from anyone else. A lot of these student have wonderful parents who are proud of them, but some of them don't. And there is no way to tell who is who. SO I TELL THEM ALL. The end.

5. I am excited to get feedback on our after school proposal from the principal! Our official proposal was submitted today so that we could roll out the student interest survey by Thursday and get our program started ASAP. I'm actually proud of what Lexie and I put together for the proposal so I'm excited to hear what the head honcho has to say. 

Also I'm excited for Power Reading tomorrow. On Wednesdays we have taken to reading quietly in front of the school instead of cheering. It makes the students wonder what we're doing and gives us a chance to talk about how much we love reading! Plus, we make it look cool. 

"You know who it is"

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Today was a little more stressful than I expected it to be. I implemented a plan I had for that student I was telling you about. I picked up a little journal for him so that maybe he could write down all the bad words that he thinks and say really mean things about people without actually saying them. I ran it by the special education aide that is in class with him, and she thought it would help, so he used it all during class and then took it with him to his other classes. I encouraged him a LOT to write in it when I heard him curse, and he actually did write in it a lot! I told him that no one would read it but me and that I didn't care how mean or bad his language was. He definitely heard that part. He filled quite a few pages and used it in most of his classes! I don't know if it stopped him from saying the things aloud, but at least some of them might have gotten written instead of said. However, he said that one of his teachers saw him with it and said she would take it away if she saw it again. So me and the aide are going to go talk to her to say that it's a tool that we're using to help him. Hopefully she'll understand. It's pretty complicated stuff, helping students. I can understand why most teachers not only don't have the time, but don't have the patience to deal with all their students' problems, especially those who are the most disruptive. It's really tempting to just get them out of class so you can move on. And sometimes that's the best thing to do for the rest of the class. But I'm there to help the students the teacher doesn't have time/patience to help.

2. Doing attendance calls was fun today. There was one parent whose voicemail greeting was, "You know who it is, leave a message." We had a lot of fun coming up with witty messages to leave that parent, such as, "Actually, we don't know who it is, but we hope it is the parent/guardian of______" Dennis even came up with a Rhodes attendance jingle: "Rhodes attendance/Where is your kid?" Obviously none of these are going to be used in real life, but it helps to make a serious task a little silly.

I see all sorts of crazy awesome people on the bus. For example, there was a gentleman today who had an American flag skullcap under a NASCAR hat who was wearing a fanny pack and listening to a CD walkman. Prime people-watching on the Via bus system, friends.

Mystery moment: Every morning I get off the bus near my school, a school bus without a label on the side pulls up to the intersection. It's full of grown men, and they are chanting and clapping constantly as long as I'm within earshot. I think it may be a chain gang from a prison on their way to do work, but I'm not sure. Any way, it makes me happy every morning to hear them chant, because the cheers are upbeat and have happy themes.

3. One of my classes is just proving to be a conundrum. My teacher and I talked about it, and we are really at a loss as to how to get them to behave themselves. It's a madhouse, and the teacher does nothing differently, it's not right after lunch, they're in assigned seats (for those who choose not to move and refuse to sit where they're supposed to). I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. Hopefully, the teacher and I can put our heads together and come up with some kind of solution, because they are pretty much standing still and falling way behind the other classes. The problem is incessant talking, even when the teacher stops class and uses all kind of attention-getting tools to get them back on track. It may last for 1 second, no exaggeration. If you have any ideas, PLEASE TELL ME.

4. I grew today when I became more practical about implementing the after school program. Lexie and I created a student-interest survey to hand out to students, but met a roadblock when we realized that we would have to print 800 some odd copies for that. So we got creative and decided to make it into a powerpoint that the teachers would go through with students during their flex period (a sort of homeroom used for enrichment and remediation) while the students record answers on their own sheet of paper. While we were thinking of solutions to the paper problem, my initial reaction was to cling to the idea that I had come up with. But then Meta-Mae, that person who is the real brains of the operation, reminded me that that idea was impractical and not a friend to the trees, so it was silly to cling to it. I'm glad that happened, and that I can be humbled when original plans have to change, because I talk about flexibility being one of my strengths. I think we can all talk about how flexible we are until we're reminded, yet again, that we really don't like change and we really do like things to go our way. I'm a work in progress, kay?

5. I am excited to hand in our proposal for the after school program to the principal tomorrow and get the ball rolling on handing out our student surveys. Also, I'm excited to see how I can better help students in the toughest period to stop disrespecting the teacher. Something has gotta work. Right?

The Running of the Bus

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Today was pretty on par with my expectations. I expected that I would be pretty happy because it was Friday, but that the students might be a little rowdier for the same reason. Both were true, except in one class! Usually, all three of the classes that I assist in are pretty terrible behaviorally. Today, though, there was one that was surprisingly on task and respectful. It was great! My heart definitely swelled when I looked around and didn't have anyone to redirect and could actually sit down and model student behavior by reading my current book (Redwall by Brian Jaques).

2. OMG I had a great moment today. A student who is a huge behavior problem came into class late per usual, and was talking out of turn per usual. But for some reason, he respects me, so I asked him to please take notes and he half-heartedly did. And then the teacher asked a question and he looked at me and said the answer. I told him that he should raise his hand and answer and he did! The teacher called on him and he gave the answer and she said "great job!" It was seriously like a climax scene from a feel-good movie. That moment carried me through the whole day. I hope I can work with this kid more often. He has terrible problems in other classes with yelling at other students and using profane language regularly. But today, he came back to the classroom I serve in between every period to talk to me. He would tell me how many cuss words he said in the last class and I would tell him that he doesn't have to use that language. I would say, "You know you could keep those words in and then come talk to me about it, right?" and he would say "Yeah, but you're not in all of my classes!" So I told him we could talk about it after school and that I'd see him on Monday, but he said he was suspended from school on Monday. I HOPE and PRAY that I can make a big enough difference in his behavior before he gets expelled from school, because that is a legitimate concern. It will definitely be hard for me if he leaves school because I can feel a rapport building and I know he is far less likely to graduate if he has to go to alternative school starting in 6th grade.

Also, we did appreciations as a team! I knew that I would be needing some uplift at the end of this long week, so I suggested to our team leader that we do some kind of affirmation/appreciation. Those of you who know me know that my love language is totally words of affirmation, so I jump at any chance I can get for people to say nice things to each other! --plug: my Wall of Affirmation is still taking material if you feel compelled to send any warm wishes my way via snail mail. :)-- So we all wrote a bunch of positive things about one another. I loved it.

And Alexa gave me a ride home today so I didn't have to ride the bus!
And I'm about to go to Rosario's for some top-notch Mexican food and see my friends from other school teams!

3. I'm still nursing my cold, but it is much better today by far! One other not-so-cool thing was that my bus this morning was a full 2 minutes early, so I saw it as I was walking up to the stop and had to sprint ahead of the light to make it on time! However, I was telling Shelby that one thing I love about taking the bus is that you only have to be late once. Once all that panic and sprinting of making it onto the bus, you're instantly right on schedule. Compared to driving where you're late the entire time until you make it to your destination, I prefer the bus feeling.

4. I grew today when I wrote appreciations for my team. I am so thankful for every person that is a part of our school team and I loved taking time to reflect on why exactly that was. This group of people is outstanding, but in such different ways. here are so many strengths on the team, but they're certainly well spread out among our team members. It's really beautiful to be a part of such a diverse, effective group. I know it's going to be an amazing year.

5. I am excited to finally know for sure that I'll be with my teacher all year. Once we find that out, I'll be able to have a one-on-one meeting with her to figure out how to tackle these classes for the rest of the year and which students I'll be meeting with for extra tutoring help! 

The Rareness of Blue Trees

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Today was much better with my teacher back in the classroom, as I anticipated. It was even a little bit better overall than I expected after such a late night last night. I had much more positive interaction with students than negative, which is more than I was expecting.

2. So, a student inadvertently told me that he liked me today. He did so in an interesting way: there is a teacher's aid in some of my classes to help with students who have behavioral disorders. She is very confrontational and this student is extremely vocal about his dislike for her. He often talks back aloud to try and get a rise out of her, which is usually effective. Today, she had told him to do something and in response he said, loudly, "I HATE white people!" After he said this out loud while I was kneeling next to him trying to get him back on task, he instantly turned to me and said, "I'm definitely not talking about you, Miss, not about you." I tried not to react and said, "I appreciate that, but you should probably start taking notes...." It may be terrible, but I was thrilled that he even thought to say anything to me. He could have easily just let me think that he hates me too, but he felt like he needed to be clear that he didn't hate me! Hooray!...?

Also, I made a very teachery, non-hilarious joke and totally got a couple students to laugh. They were doing an activity on a blue piece of paper. When they finished, the teacher said they should turn it over and do another activity on the back. Some students wanted a new piece because their markers had soaked through. They asked me if they could have one, and I said that they should try to make it work on the back, because blue trees are very rare, you see, and we have to do our best to conserve these blue trees. Both students that were on the receiving end of this gem smiled and laughed graciously. BONUS, they did their work on the back side of the paper like I asked. Bam.

3. I've caught a cold. It was really only a matter of time what with spending all day in an overcrowded 6th grade class and the amount of high-fives I'm giving to kids who not only wipe their noses on their hands in front of me, but whom I've also seen pet stray dogs that wander up to the school. I've been diligent with washing hands and hand sanitizer, but nothing boosts the immune system like actually having the virus, right? Right?!

4. I grew today when I had to explain to a student why he should do the classwork even though he thought it was way too "babyish" and easy for him. He was excellent during silent reading time, but would continue reading his book when the class was supposed to be taking notes. I asked why he wasn't doing what he was supposed to and amidst all the whining and "uggghhhh"s, he said that this was way too easy for him and they'd already done it in 3rd grade. So I thought about how to go about it. If it was too easy, how do I handle it? When I was in school, I did things that seemed stupid because I knew that I still needed to get a good grade on my report card. Plus, I liked feeling smart, of course. But this guy, he needed a better reason.

So I told him he had to prove it to me. If he wanted to do hard stuff, he had to prove to me and the teacher that he could do this stuff. He said some more "ugghghghgs" so I tried an example. I said, "If I told you I had a million dollars, would you believe me?" and he said, "Yeah right." So I countered with "What would I have to do to get you to believe me?" and he said, "You'd have to show me all the stuff you bought and act like you were super rich." Bingo. He didn't instantly do his work, and he was still reluctant to do anything, but I could tell that he got what I said and if I keep reminding him, maybe it will be enough for him to prove that he's ready to try harder stuff. Because I would be THRILLED to provide such stuff.

5. I am excited for it to be Friday! It has been a really rewarding week, and I am in no way "working for the weekend" (you just sang the song, didn't you?) but I am ready to have a couple days off to recover from this kid-cold and I'm also ready to start my year-long partnership with my teacher! I can feel that this is going to be a really great experience for both of us!

7:45s

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Today was much better than I expected!! Hooray!!!! There was still a sub and there was still terrible behavior and kids still ignored me and didn't do their work, but my perspective totally made it better! I focused on the students who were gaining something or changing their behavior because of what I was doing and it was 39238 times better! Also, we had parent night in the evening, and there were a LOT of parents there, which was a pleasant surprise! We got 24 parents to sign their kids up for the after school program before we even have the first day planned! I was so excited about that. So, overall, much better day than I prepared for it to be. Especially for a day where I was at school for 12 hours, 7:45 to 7:45.

2. First high point that comes to mind is food-related (duh). Between school and the parent night, a few of our team went out to a barbecue place and it was the best brisket I've had so far. It was soooooo good. I was dubious at first because it looked questionable on the outside, but the inside was very clean and decorated really creatively, and they had some of the best mac and cheese I've had to date.

Also! One of my students who I've had a lot of trouble with in class signed up for after school program! In class he refuses to do any work because he says it's too "babyish" and he needs harder stuff to do. I made it clear that he has to show that this work is too easy by doing it really well, but I think it will take a couple more days for that to sink in. BUT his parents came and asked about after school and said it sounded really great for him and signed him up. HOORAY! I definitely did a happy dance inside because I am sooooo willing to give him harder work to do once he shows me he can do the easy stuff.

AND another student from class found me in the cafeteria as I was floating around before school and wanted me to sit with him and his friends! So I sat and talked with them about Purdue and Drew Brees and my favorite football teams until it was time to go to class. This is why I do what I do.

Also, I was all prepared to ride the bus home from school at 8:00pm, but my teammates made sure that one of them gave me a ride! So Elisha drove me all the way home 10 minutes out of her way! We had an adventure with surprise rain and construction that got us all turned around, but it was still at least 45 minutes sooner than I would have been home. I am so thankful that she offered to give me a ride!

3. I feel like my low points of the day are going to start getting repetitive, because my low point again was that some students verbally or nonverbally told me that they were not happy that I was there. Today the good outweighed the bad for sure, but there were still students who ignored me or disrespected me and that always sticks out in my mind.

4. Also, a few of my students are going through emotional times. They have a lot of frustration for any number of reasons, but they tend to take it out on each other and then keep it inside, which is painful to watch. Sometimes they want to tell someone, anyone about it, but sometimes they shut down, won't do their work, and won't tell you why. This age is already so hard with all the hormones that our bodies aren't used to, which can make boys violent and girls dramatic, but these students have problems to compound the struggles that all of us went through during that time. It's hard to watch them go through that, remembering how terrible I felt during this age with a small fraction of the worries these children have on their hearts. It's growing for me to reflect on how I felt during this age and how far I've come since then, and try to translate that into helping these students overcome all this difficulty to focus on important things.

5. I am excited for my teacher to be back in the classroom. There will still be behavior issues I'm certain, but at least she can be there to dole out discipline and give the students definite tasks to do rather than having to guess with a lesson plan that the sub was given. 

The First Hard Day

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Well, I was nervous today because my class had a substitute. And today was actually the first pretty hard day that I had. Before, we were just observing in classrooms, with pretty low expectations of involvement. This week, we're with one teacher all week, and we're expected to do the best we can to support the teacher with the whole class. This hasn't necessarily been difficult, but today I felt the expectations were even higher because the sub didn't have a whole lot of control or knowledge about my teacher's procedures. I actually ended up leading one class during flex time (a period in the middle of the day that is used for enrichment and remediation) because the sub didn't have any lesson plan for that class. It went pretty well, considering I had only watched my teacher do that lesson once and I wasn't sure AT ALL that that was what she had planned on this period doing during today's class. It was a challenging day for sure, and some of that I'll write about later.

2. During power-greeting, I was greeting everyone at the door--like the super nerd that I am-- with "Happy Constitution Day!" 97% of the kids just smiled and probably thought, "Whatta weirdo..." but a few asked what that was! Even though their response once I told them wasn't usually positive, but more like "ugh, they're all dead, why does that matter?" THEY STILL ASKED. That is what I am counting as a victory. Hop on board.

Also, our team brainstormed a bunch of ideas for our after school program and it got me really excited!! I will post more details once Lexie and I have a chance to iron out what we would like our school's program to look like. I'm just happy that our teammates seemed to really buy into the idea of everyone running the program together and it being something that is really relevant and useful for our students! Yay!

Also, I had a lot of prep periods, so I got to go outside (it's been rainy this week, which  means a bearable temperature) and read and talk with Alex. A nice break.

3. There was a near-fight in one of my classes. Luckily, another teacher walked by and saw the shoving and stopped the boys by yelling. I went to get the administrator, who took the boys away for most of the period.

Also, the period that was difficult behavior-wise yesterday was downright miserable today. A student flat-out ignored me when I asked them to do what they were supposed to be doing, students were hitting each other, throwing post-it notes, and saying curse words loudly to friends across the classroom. I actually had to let some students stay off task and focus on the ones that actually wanted to do the assignment but couldn't hear the substitute's instructions over the din. That's what was the hardest: there were at least 5 students in there who WANTED the information. They wanted to do what they were supposed to do but couldn't because their classmates were being too disruptive.

Oh, and riding the bus home in the rain during late rush hour is about as fun as it sounds.

4. Today was rough for me in class. I was really optimistic before about all the students liking me and wanting to do what I said. I told myself even then that wasn't going to happen, but I still had the hopes, you know? Well, now I'm fully immersed in reality and I know that there are students who don't want me to help them and don't have any trouble telling me that to my face. Which sucks.

However, there were just as many, if not more, students today who did precisely what I told them, asked me pertinent questions, and showed interest in having me help them with their assignments.

The growth lies in focusing on these students rather than the first type. WHICH IS GOING TO BE SO HARD. So please help me, and when you ask me how my service is going, please make me focus on the students who are positive. Because there are a lot of them. But I tend to focus on where I can improve or what I'm doing wrong, which isn't terrible. Except it is terrible for my self-esteem. Because this is hard.

5. Tomorrow I am excited to wear our Diploma's Now t-shirt to school! AND there's a parent night at which I'll be meeting parents and trying to convince them to sign their kids up for the after school program!

Please think of me during the day tomorrow, though, because my teacher will still be out and there will still be a sub.

ELA and Afterschool

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Today was our first full day in school! Well, kind of. We were technically there all day last Thursday, but we had to have meetings in the afternoon so we didn't get to go to afternoon class. Today we went through the whole she-bang! Well,  kind of. My teacher only has 3 regular classes (the rest are pre-AP) so I had an exorbitant amount of prep periods and didn't really feel like I was doing that much in my classroom. I guess that was the biggest thing that was different than I expected. I expected to be in the classroom all day, but we only are in the classes that are struggling more than the others. I did experience my effect on students today and I feel like I'm honing my stealth redirecting skills. It takes talent to refocus a student on what they're supposed to be doing without derailing their focus all together. I will master this. There should be a black belt-equivalent for this.

2. You guys, power greeting was a BLAST today. I could never help you understand how or why it was fun, but it was just really fun. I think it's because we (read: I) are starting to not care what we look like or what middleschoolers or their parents think of us. When it's time to go bananas, ain't nothing stopping me.

Also awesome was helping a girl write a creative story. The teacher had them come up with a problem for their story before filling in the details, and she picked something she was probably sure I would be shocked and disgusted by. Well I showed her: I corrected her spelling of that something and then encouraged her to write about it! And after that, she kept calling me over to read her story and tell her what else she needed to add to it. Learning.

Also a high point is that I got my coordinator role and tutoring assignment! I will be tutoring English/Language Arts (ELA)!! Superrrrr excited about that. I am rekindling my fire for reading and I fear there is no going back until I've read all the books. ALL. AND I will be co-After School Coordinator with Lexie! After school was my first choice by far, and I'm super excited that there are two of us! Look out for after school to be the thing that the cool kids do. Maybe I should manage my expectations. MAYBE NOT.

3. Low point was actually being stumped with a behavior problem today. My teacher warned me about a certain period, but I thought "surely, they're not that bad." They were. At first it was okay, but there was a student who wouldn't do what she was asked no matter how many times I asked her nicely. I even let her borrow my pretty blue pen, stipulating that it could only be used to take notes (a method that worked like a charm in another class). It worked for 0 seconds. I said that if she didn't take notes, I'd have to take the pen back. She said, "Okay, here you go." I can't stress this enough: this is a hard job. This is why we have hours of training and lots of teammates to support us! Most teachers deal with this stuff with insufficient training and little support from administration or parents.

4. I grew today when I realized that I was not as different from these students as I thought. One of my teammates was saying how much different these students were than they were at that age and I thought, "I was the same." They don't have any motivation or drive to learn. The only motivation I had in junior high came from my parents. I cared about being popular, having friends, and forcing my hair to do things that my hair was never meant to do. I was not able to conceptualize the idea that my studies and grades could some day affect my future. It wasn't until sophomore year of high school that I actually kicked it into high gear from the inside. I am SO LUCKY that my parents motivated me externally for those middle years, because I could very well have been in the situation that I'm witnessing in school here. These students don't have internal motivation just like I didn't, so I'll need to be that for them for awhile and if I'm lucky, I'll eke a teensy bit of internal motivation after them.

5. I'm excited to continue planning after school tomorrow with Lexie! I'm also a little terrified because my teacher is going to be in an ELA training all day, so the sub and I have to hold down the fort. Wish me luck!

When you do well, don't forget to do good.

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. Oh my gosh, what a day. OPENING DAY! I guess I expected the ceremony to be in a huge room with a huge number of people attending. It was fairly small; with corps members included, probably about 250 people. I wasn't disappointed. It was really kind of cozy in that room. PLUS. I did not expect Ambassador Sichan Siv to be so amazingly inspiring! This man grew up in urban Cambodia, escaped the Khmer Rouge killing fields by crawling, biking, and hitching his way to Thailand, came to the U.S., flipped burgers and drove a taxi, and served as US Ambassador to the UN during George 41's presidency. I can't describe how awesome it was to hear his story, and one of my favorite quotes from his talk graces the title of this post. I even asked him a question in front of everyone (very squishy for me)! He remembered that I had asked it when I shook his hand after the ceremony and even complimented my question. I'm happy. :)

2. There are too many high points to record here, let's just say that. I'll list some in brief.

- When I had to leave a class I was observing early to go to the convention center, a student said, "Aw, Miss, you're leaving now?" Highly probable he just wanted to speak out of turn and get a little attention, but it still made my heart sing.

- Drove with Dennis to the convention center and sang a little Guys and Dolls on the way. "Sit down you're rockin' the boat!" :)

- Practiced speaking in front of the room several times and only messed up once. And DIDN'T mess up during the ceremony even though our Diplomas Now partners were there and they were video recording me!

- We dedicated the jackets that we received to a person or cause that we are serving for this year. I'll explain more about my dedication later, but it was ah-mazing to listen to other corps members stories about their families and friends that they are dedicating their bombers to. I cried more than once and I felt so close to everyone!

- Reunited with Team Traveler after the ceremony!

3. Well, Shelby and I missed the bus for the first time today. She didn't have to get to school until a little later, but we had timed the later bus wrong and missed it! So I had to drive to school for the first time, which was laaaaame.

Also, we got super sweaty in our long sleeve-bomber jacket combo, so that was kind of gross for everyone.

4. I grew today when I thought about who/what to dedicate my City Year bomber to. The suggestion was to dedicate it to someone/thing that inspires us to serve this year and has been influential to us in our education or life of service. I choose to dedicate my jacket to the Wesley Foundation @ Purdue. It is a campus ministry, but more than that it is home for all of us that belong there. I met a number of my best friends and mentors there, including Pat, who has had a huge influence on me wanting to live a life of service and give this year to San Antonio with City Year. I also met Alex Rouse at Wesley, and she is my more direct City Year inspiration as she serves as a Team Leader in San Jose, CA. Most of all, Wesley has taught me that service is more important than self and that you can get so much more satisfaction out of a life if you give it away. That message is SO IMPORTANT in college when a lot of things are in flux and it's so easy to focus on oneself. I love the Wesley Foundation and everyone I met there and I hope and pray that it is around to encourage college students for many years to come.

5. Tomorrow we get to stay in our schools all day!!!! I'm really excited to finally see what the afternoon is like!

Make it, Take it

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?

2. What are the high points of the day?

3. What are the low points of the day?

4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?

5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. My expectations to day were for sure higher than my expectations for yesterday, but beyond that I didn't expect too much. One of my tasks today was to go to the area the students are--for lack of a better word--contained before school starts. I was a little nervous for that and it was pretty much a free-for-all, but it was really fun. Sessions were not bad because we just had to sit through one of them and then go back to our school for a faculty meeting. I was excited for the faculty meeting because I thought they would introduce City Year or talk about it (very narcissistic of me), which they didn't do very much of. The principal DID mention that we would be doing attendance phone calls, which was kind of cool.

2. The high point I will highlight was during the aforementioned before-school containment period. There were 4 basketballs dispersed in the gym, with 6 total basketball hoops available. The students, mostly boys, were instantly divided into teams and started playing the most rulesless game of basketball I've ever seen. There was no such thing as fouls, travels, double dribbles, or jump balls. They also played a way that Pat has informed me is called "Make it, Take it" which seemed completely unfair to me because the same team kept getting the ball back. Anyways, I jumped right into this game and asked a kid that I'd seen acting out in class the day before if I could be on his team. He looked ambivalent, but receptive, so I asked him who else was on our team (note: all of this is being done at highest possible voice level and while the game is continuing in between and around us. Not to mention the other game whose half court overlapped with ours). He said "him, him, him, him, and him" and pointed to four boys dressed in the exact same uniform he was also wearing. It helped a little. ANYWAYS, I got in the game, my new friend and team captain passed it to me, and I made a basket!!!!! That is officially more points than I scored my entire 7th grade season playing basketball, just a fun fact. I was rejoicing inside when a student on the opposing team said, "Ay, Miss, who said you could play?" I suppressed the urge to taunt "You mad, bro?" and instead pointed at my compatriot. We kept scoring and I even got another basket! It was fun, but I would like a little more structure, like maybe where slapping arms during shots is slightly less than encouraged, or basic lines on the court are treated like boundaries. Is that too much to ask? Probably.

Also a high point was that I brought a book to classes with me to model what silent reading should look like. At least that was the manifest function. I also am SO INTO the book I'm reading, which is the book we chose for our City Year San Antonio book club, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It's a young adult novel and involved young love, but it is written in a totally awesome style and is super emotionally-real. I've already cried once a little bit, and it may or may not have been while I was modeling silent reading in class. Sorry not sorry. But I pretty much love silent reading time, and I am super excited that if I get placed in an ELA classroom (which is looking likely at this point) I'll get to read for at least 30 minutes total a day during class! This might be the best job ever.

3. Well, it rained today. Quite a lot, actually! And most of it happened in the 20 minutes in which I changed buses. And this bus stop is one of the ones that doesn't have a canopy or any other sort of rain protection because, hey! It's San Antonio and it barely ever rains. So I got a little damp before I got to school. When I did arrive, I was making small talk with students about, you know, the weather, and I said that it was a bummer that we all got wet standing outside. One student who was tying his shoes said, "But, hey, Miss, we appreciate getting rain here." I really appreciated that perspective and I totally checked any more complaints I had about getting wet in the rain.

4. Today I grew when I had to practice reciting our Team Mission Statement in front of a group of people. I had practiced it with smaller groups and in the car and with myself, so I felt pretty confident, but I totally choked when I went up there to rattle it off for practice. I did it again with no mistakes, but it was an eye opener. And I thought it was interesting. I've always been really confident in my ability to be comfortable in front of large crowds, but while that's true, I have NEVER had something that I've read or memorized verbatim and recited it in front of a big crowd. Which is a whole other ball game. I will be happy to tell you which I prefer: EXTEMPORANEOUS. With all that said, I am excited to represent my team tomorrow and I will make them proud! :)

5. I AM EXCITED FOR OPENING DAY CEREMONY!!!! Happy National Day of Service!!!!

 

cHaracter

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. I started today with a pretty terrible attitude. Friday was a rough day because I was worried about Grandma all day, so I was all out of sorts and such. So this morning I wasn't really excited to go to school because I thought I might feel the same. Also, this week we're being more active in our teachers' classrooms, which I'm always nervous about because I don't want to offend teachers by overstepping my bounds as a corps member. But I arrived at school and I felt much better as my team started to arrive and the day went much better than I expected! I asked the teacher first thing if it was alright if I walked around and I showed her the list of "tasks" that we're supposed to complete in class this week (things like "refocus a student during class" and "model appropriate student behavior") and she was totally fine with it and encouraged us to move around the classroom and do what we needed to do. It was great and I felt back in my element as I FINALLY interacted with students in the classroom!

2. High point was definitely interacting with students in class today. One student asked me how to spell the word "character," so I told him, acknowledging that the "h" makes it tricky to spell. He thanked me, and then proceeded with his work until his tablemate asked him how to spell "character," which he proceeded to spell for him, with emphasis on the  "h". :)

Also, there was a Teach for America informational meeting after our sessions this afternoon and it was super helpful! I am definitely going to apply, and even if I don't get in to the location that Pat and I have been talking about (secret! unless you ask me, haha) the meeting totally solidified that I want to teach in a high needs area after this year. I am already ready to apply everything I've learned about high need students in my own classroom with my own students!!

3. Well, this is embarrassing. So, when we got back to Region 20 for our sessions, I read the schedule and went to the room and promptly sat "front most, center most" in the classroom.

ONE HOUR LATER

I realized that no one else from my school was in there and I had actually been in the wrong room the entire time! I turned to Calaia and said, "My team isn't in here!" It was humiliating and awesome and I actually contemplated putting this in the high points section. I have absolutely no excuse for not noticing I didn't belong in there except that it's Monday. So during the break, I found my team and explained to them what happened. On my way to the next section, people who weren't in either section told me they heard I'd been in the wrong section. Word travels fast! I was embarrassed, but it was pretty funny and I'm glad everyone could have a few laughs at my expense.

A real low-light has been my walk to school from the bus stop. There is SO much garbage on the curb and in the grass. It's not like freshly-thrown garbage either, it's been there awhile. Every time I walk by it, I hear Coach Shockney whisper in my ear, "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." So next time I'm at the store, I'm gonna pick up some gloves and trash bags and put myself to work. I guess there is a reason my bus get's to school 30 minutes early!

4. I think I grew today when I realized that my attitude was pretty poor. This is the first time I've really felt negatively about anything related to City Year, and it's interesting that it happened right after a weekend. It's like I couldn't remember how much I did in fact like being with my team at my school because I was so out of it on Friday and had had two days off. So I was sitting there waiting for my team to arrived in a really depressed state, and I could actually feel myself lift out of it as I interacted with my team again. It's really kind of creepy to be self-aware sometimes.

5. Tomorrow I am excited to sit in on a faculty meeting at our school! It does involve a significant amount of travel time because a few of us have to return to Region 20 to practice our speaking for the big shin-dig (Opening Day Ceremony) on Wednesday, but it will be cool to see how the teachers interact with each other and with the administration at our school. 

To the best MaMarsh in the world

We interrupt this regularly scheduled programming for a special message from a very lucky granddaughter:

Sorry I won't be posting on my CYSA experience tonight. I had a great day today, and I will resume posting about my year of service tomorrow. Tonight is a special case. My grandma is spending the night in the hospital, so my mind is pretty much running on a single track. She is comfortable and will likely be fine in a few days, but I thought I'd take this opportunity to throw some love and appreciation her way.

10 Reasons I Love My Grandma (NOT an all-inclusive list)

10. She's on Facebook. Like every day on it. Sure, sometimes she accidentally uses the status update function when she means to post on someone else's wall, but she is treading where many a grandmother wouldn't dare to tread. Also, it is very validating to have every single one of your posts and pictures liked by someone, even if that someone is your grandma. 

9. Because of this screen shot I took of her while we were Skyping during my study abroad in Russia. She learned how to use Skype to talk to me, and she was reallllllly good at it. :)

Pictured: Champion of Grandma Technology Competition

8. She is a Disney Princess. I tell all my friends this because I believe it to be true. Grandma has always loved to watch and listen to birds in her back yard and can usually tell you the type of bird it is just from hearing its call. She also attracts animals to her house with supernatural powers (or food that she leaves out for them). She has lots of cats that live under her barn, an old crippled groundhog, several deer--once there were 10 in her yard at once--, and a momma raccoon that comes to bully the cats out of their food. ALL of these animals have names bestowed by my grandma or my little cousin. She talks to them regularly. I'm guessing she sings to them while they help her do dishes as well, but she can't let us see that. That's just for them. 

7. She cooks to please. The slightest suggestion of a hankering will get you a plate full of your dreams come true. No matter how labor intensive a dish is, as long as you're willing to run to the store and grab some ingredients, you're good to go. Last summer, mom and I just HAPPENED to buy a 5 gallon bucket of cucumbers at the farmers market and suggested to Grandma that they might be good for pickles. Guess what we had two weeks later? Sheer delight is what we had.

6. She stands by her principles. I have oft heard the phrase "I'll never darken their door again!" in relation to unacceptable customer service experiences. The best one was from the era of the Beanie Baby, when she had 2 grandchildren that NEEDED more Beanie Babies. She went to our local Hallmark store to procure said toys, but they had implemented a strict "1 Beanie Baby per customer" policy. She fought and fought to get one apiece for her DEPRIVED grandchildren, but to no avail. She hasn't been back there since. That was the 90's.

5. She loves whimsy. Every year for our Christmas get together, she has at least one treasure hunt for the grandkids to complete. She carefully crafts clues to lead us to the presents, and the clues usually have the most amazing rhymes. And by amazing, I mean they don't rhyme, and sometimes that brings us even more joy than if they did rhyme.

4. She's not afraid to ask for help. I'm pretty sure everyone that has been around Grandma has experienced this: you stand up, move to walk behind where she is sitting, and hear her say "Hey, could you scratch my back? A little higher. A little to the left. Right there; dig!" And everyone does is while rolling their eyes but smiling on the inside. Also, one of my favorite Grandma-phrases is "Hey, while you're resting, could you..." :)

3. She is a magnificent story teller. Many an evening after eating way too much but also just enough, we sit around the table and hear stories from any time period. There are the favorites that get requested very often: the time Uncle John's 4-H cake got stuck in the car door pocket, when Uncle Andy said, "We can take her!", various exploits of Grandma's friend group. The best part about them is that they get better and more dramatic every time. I've spent a day with her before where we hear some news or gossip from someone, then Grandma tells it to Mom in a slightly more colorful way, then I hear her on the phone later that afternoon telling an even MORE colorful version to a friend. Storytelling is an art, my friends. 

2. She has taught me 90% of what I know about baking. Ever since a was too short to reach over the counter, I can remember baking with MaMarsh. On of my favorites is when I would stand on a chair and just stick my arms elbow deep into the canister of flour. It was so cool and it felt really good. Grandma would let me "help"  her make dinner rolls by punching down the dough after the first rise and help her roll out the portions to put in the pan. It's wild that it's come so far that now she just, as she says, "sits in a chair and bosses" while I do most of the steps in the recipe. I love her so much for her willingness to try to make anything. There is NOTHING that we couldn't bake together, just give us one or two practice runs. Baking with Grandma are some of my favorite memories with anyone ever. 

1. She loves her family so much. She would lay down her life for any one of us and we all know it. She won't hear a negative word about anyone in her brood, and there is so much power in love like that. She bought season tickets every year I was in the Purdue Marching Band and she came to all of my home sporting events in high school. She travels hundreds of miles to visit her other grandchildren so she can have the same memories with them that she had with my brother and me. She plans vacations and rents a big house so that we can all stay together, because that's how she wants to spend her vacation. She has so much love to give her family that she adopted my two best friends as honorary granddaughters because they came with me to her house so often. I will never stop being thankful for the love and support of this woman; she's an enormous part of who I am today and that is a point of pride.

I love you, Grandma!

*BONUS: She uses amazing phrases like "Heavens to Mergatroid!" and "If I had another brain, it'd be lonely" and "I am busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest" and many more gems.

Cheek-pinchingly Cute

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. As I'm getting more familiar with what we will be doing each day, my expectations are pretty much matching up to what actually happens. I may have to rethink this question to make it more answerable. Today we observed for 3 class periods and then had sessions for 4 hours, so I expected it to be a long but fulfilling day and that's what it was!

2. High points begin before I even left for school. I was reading my email, and we got the list of those who were selected to participate in our Opening Ceremony next week and a lot of our school team was on the list! We are introducing important speakers, singing the National Anthem, and reading our school mission statement. We're totally going to steal the show.

More high points when I interacted with students a little more than I have previously. Middle school is such an interesting time: sixth graders are cheek-pinchingly cute and eight-graders are a little more life-sized. And then there are seventh graders of all shapes and sizes. Youth development is a pretty crazy biz. Today, one student got 100% on his homework and just felt the need to turn around and tell me about that personally. Even though we're not supposed to interact quite yet, I totally obliged him with a smile, nod, and thumbs-up. I'm gonna like this job. :)

Also a high point was getting in a giggle fit with Bridget and Andrew. We're all pretty dead by the time we arrive at Region 20 for our sessions, so we get a little loopy and a little slap-happy. It was cathartic to laugh long and loud over something that was hilarious, but not AS hilarious as you would guess by the volume of our laughter. Also, it was fun to sit by fellow-Traveler Calaia in sessions, because the laughter continued. It was a very laugh-filled afternoon!

3. Today I was much more engaged during the afternoon sessions, so that was not a low! Maybe a low--but not really-- was that we had a social media awareness session, and it became apparent that I needed to go back and edit some of my blog posts. Basically, I'm just going to be vaguer than I have been to protect my students, school, and self from creepy people. Don't worry, I already went through all my previous posts to make them more compliant. Free cookie to who can find the changes! Just kidding, that would be a tremendous waste of time. But yeah, that's as low as it got today!

4. I grew today when we were learning about how to "teach like a champion." We got a lot of tips and techniques that excellent teachers use to engage students and effect real learning. It was a growth point, because I studied education in college. I had 4 years of learning effective teaching methods, and some of those were repeated today. The interesting this is that I could hear those a million times and I would still need reminders every now and then. Effective teaching is one of the hardest arts to master, and anyone who thinks that they're as good as they can possibly be is kidding themselves. I vow to never think that hearing tips from veteran teachers is a waste of time.

5. Tomorrow, a group of us is going to power greet some City Public Services executives in the morning! CPS is having an event to encourage employees to donate to United Way, which is a major contributor to City Year. Therefore, we will go to fill these employees with funds-generating joy in the morning as they head into this event. Also tomorrow I am excited to play some volleyball after work!

C-Y-S-A-Woo!-Woo!

1. How did today differ from how I expected it to be?
2. What are the high points of the day?
3. What are the low points of the day?
4. What is one experience that caused me to grow today?
5. What am I excited about for tomorrow?

1. I expected today to be hard because it was coming off of a long weekend for everyone: students, teachers, us. It pretty much met my expectations. Coming back to a full day of work after a long weekend of taking naps, going shopping, and meeting Pat's family was pretty hard. All the days in City Year have been long, but something about juxtaposing that longness against the happy-place-esque-ness of my weekend was just doubly hard.

2. First high point that pops into my head takes some explanation. One of the parts of City Year culture involves "bringing it in for a break" after every meeting or session. So what happens is that everyone puts their hands in the middle and the person whose hand is on top has to pick an inspirational word for everyone to say (read: first word that pops into head that isn't a curse word). So the break goes something like this: "C-Y-S-A [Word] Woo!" So for the past two weeks, I've had an idea for this, but I didn't want to force my hand to be on top to say it because that's just lame. Well today was the day! So I picked the word "Woo!" So the cheer went "C-Y-S-A Woo! Woo!" It was awesome. It was a little sad how entertained I was by it, but it definitely makes it to the high points.

Also high point was that Alex and I finally succeeded in ordering puffy tacos! We stormed into Ray's and demanded their puffy tacos, which we received with veneration and instantly consumed. We came, we saw, we ate puffy tacos.

It was also really cool to get to know some of my staff members a little more personally. Some of these people are seriously cool. I guess it's no accident that CY is such an awesome thing.

3. Low point was my post-school leadership development session attitude again. I definitely need to pack an extra tea bag tomorrow. The information was on Texas curricula, which is super pertinent and actually interesting for me, but I was just not feeling it. I'll regroup and try again tomorrow. It is really nice to come to the conference space and see all the faces I hadn't seen all weekend. They were a sight for sore eyes. Or a sight for happy eyes that made them even happier. I don't know what I'm writing, just deal with it.

4. I grew today when we talked about Leadership After City Year. City Year wants to make sure that we at least have a plan for our life after we leave this program, so we talked about different networks and connections that City Year has to help alumni succeed in whatever they wanna do. So while we were hearing about all the resources that we can tap into, I started thinking about what I really want to do. And I really want to teach. One of the reasons I applied to City Year was to decide whether or not I wanted to teach in a rural or suburban middle-class district or apply for a position in a high-need, impoverished inner-city district. Before I came here, I only had experience in middle-class, relatively high-achieving schools. I student taught in one; I attended one. So I thought that maybe I would get down here and realize that I have nothing in common with these students, that I can't help them because I can't relate to them well enough or have enough credibility with them to earn their respect. Well, I am beginning to see that that is a load of bull hockey. We're not that different; at least 7th-grade-me and them are not that different. This thought is to be continued, but don't be surprised if you see me working in an inner-city school next year.

It was also really fun to make this realization and start looking up where I want to go. Pat and I spent an hour batting around different cities in the mid-south/east coast and even though we didn't land on any yet, it's really exciting to think about where we're headed after our Americorps commitments are fulfilled. And we might be headed right into more Americorps commitments. But who knows!

5. I am excited to observe one teacher for several periods tomorrow. This week we've been focusing more on students and their interactions and observing how they act in different environments, so I'm looking forward to observing certain students and start to think about ways to engage them in the content. It won't be easy, but it might be fun. It's like a puzzle!