Patience

My week at school has told me that above everything, caring about my students takes patience.

It takes patience to suggest book after book to a student who is unbelievably judgmental of books based solely on their cover. 

It's worth it because I know someday he'll remember crazy Ms. C. who wouldn't leave him alone until he gave every book a fair chance.

It takes patience to hear every student you mention reading to say those dreaded words, "I hate reading."

"How could you hate reading?! It can take you anywhere in the universe."

"It's boring!"

What I want to say: "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS BORING!!!!"

What I actually day: "You just haven't found the right book! Come find one with me!"

It's worth it to watch a student devour a book you recommended to them and then pass that recommendation on to a friend.

It takes patience to call parents of students who are absent and get number after disconnected number without speaking to one actual parent.

It's worth it for the one parent who tells you how thankful they are that someone in the school cares enough to check for their daughter.

It takes patience to have lunch with a group if students who think it's acceptable to "play" around with friends by making fun of their appearance even if one of them has asked the other to stop. 

It's worth it to hear chatty students go silent and stay that way when I tell them I invited them to lunch because I care about them and believe that they can succeed and be leaders for others. 

It takes patience to know what students need to do in class to be successful but watch them do the opposite and turn down your help.

It's worth it to walk away from an obstinate student who waits until I'm "not" paying attention to begin the task I was bugging him about. 

It take patience to explain why writing will someday be useful to a student who has dyslexia.

It's worth it to see that student choose reading a book with me as an event important enough to write his personal narrative about. Why was it important to him? Because it was the first time he ever wanted to read a whole book front to back.

It takes patience to tell a student in after school to put his phone away time after time in a calm voice.

It's worth it when he asks if I'd please take his phone from him so he won't be tempted any more.

It takes patience to ask students to choose the right choice for themselves and watch them make the exact opposite choice.

It's worth it when students are standing up ready to fight and I can coach them back to their seats by reminding them that only THEY have the power to control their actions and avoid the consequences.

Every job that I do is not easy and none of them give me any instant gratification, but I know that every job and interaction will slowly impact my students for the better. My prayer is that I can have enough interactions with each student to make an impact that lasts beyond this year and goes with them outside the school's campus.

Also that I can keep being patient because I know that my students need me to support them even if they don't always express that need in words other than, "Leave me alone!" 

New Teacher

I have a permanent teacher in my classroom!! Hallelujah!

But seriously. I'm really excited about her and the potential for the rest of the year. 2 out of the 3 classes I serve were really engaged in her introductory lesson and were very respectful while she was talking. I was really proud of them.

The class that normally has trouble had trouble again. They have taken on the reputation of "the class that drives away teachers." It has become a badge of feigned honor for some, a bragging point that thinly veils the deep hurt they have from the many transitions they've been put through this year. I look forward to watching them grow the rest of the year as they realize that they can finally trust our leader in the classroom and give her their respect.

I have decided that I can help best in the classroom by encouraging my teacher at all costs and helping her to gain control over these very wobbly students. I am no longer pulling out students to tutor them during ELA class time.

However, I have been working very hard since I had my mid-year evaluation to still gain the prescribed amount of time with my focus list students. I had not been meeting my goals because of the conflict I was feeling about "abandoning" students in class to tutor my students and a lot of other excuses that my brain thought were valid. They weren't.

So I have changed my tack once again. I will take my boss's advice and control what I can control: meeting with my students during electives and Pride Time (homeroom), being extremely enthusiastic about our teacher and ELA and reading and pretty much everything, run an engaging after school program that enriches students' lives, and loving students every chance I get.

For none of this do I receive much instant gratification. I must admit that some students are very appreciative tell me that I'm fun/cool/etc, but most of the work I do will pay off when the advice I gave them finally makes sense in 3 years or more. My goal is that one day my student who can't resist getting pulled into an argument will realize that he really IS only in control of his actions! That my students who think reading is boring will someday realize that they just hadn't found the right book yet. That the only way  not to be a part of the problem is to be a part of the solution.

Highlight: a student who three weeks ago flat out refused to attend my behavior-coaching lunch with other students, but has come reluctantly the last two weeks, helped me by picking up something I had dropped on the floor. I said thank you and he asked if that was something that he could tell the group. I asked what group, and he said, "When we eat together!" :)

Lowlight: a student told me her birthday was coming up on Sunday. I asked if she'd eat cake or have a party and she said, "No. My mom told me I was too old to have a party." She'll be getting a mini-party on Friday, believe you me.

No Words

I'm having one of those slippery-slope complexes where every day I don't update my blog I become less likely to update it because I gain more and more material that has to be put into the blogs. Therefore, I am not going to give an all-encompassing monologue updating you on my service, I'll just try to write things that I remember and that will do me good to type out in this format.

Truth be told, I'm having a hard time. Not because my life is hard; it's actually great! I had a wonderful break where I got to see almost every friend that I'd been missing, spend some time with my family and my fiance (oh yeah, and I got a fiance!), and visit the school I'll be working in next year and scope out the Nashville scene for Pat's and my future life. I go to school every day and have a lot of positive interactions with students and teachers and feel pretty good about my effort in my job and my impact with students in their behavior and attendance.

However, my class is in shambles in every sense of the expression. I lost my teacher (yes, again) and now have a substitute that changes almost daily. The class lessons are being given to us by the other 6th grade teacher, but only the morning of. THE MORNING OF. How do you think that turns out for 1st period, when we don't have any materials prepared and have only just glanced at the lesson plan? Oh yeah, and that class is 1/3 special education students.

The worst part is that tomorrow we have a district-mandated expository writing test, where students are required to respond to a prompt with a 5-paragraph essay. The first time students had even heard the word 'expository' was today. TODAY. We had one day to practice a completely unfamiliar skill that they will be tested on tomorrow. The only thing the students have written to date was a creative super hero narrative. They didn't have any idea what a strong main idea was, let alone how to form one of their own from a prompt.  It would be laughable if it the children's entire academic futures weren't riding on tests like these.

I spoke with the administrator about my situation and was told that they don't want to rush into hiring someone who won't last. My substitute regularly tells the students that they are bad students and that they scared off the other teachers. I reported that to the administrator and received sympathy for the students. She felt bad for what they are going through, but no action was taken.

I heard one of the students repeat this during lunch (that the other teacher quit because she didn't like them), and one of my students corrected him. He said that she just wanted to teach elementary school like she did before (with a "duh" added for emphasis), which is what I told my students had happened because that's the truth. I warmed my heart to see him defending that against the student who just wanted to blab about how "bad" they were.

The truth is that my students are better behaved than they have ever been. They are spinning their wheels in my class and it is killing me that I can't do much about that. I led the class through the prewriting exercise in class today because my substitute's procedure was to point at the instructions and loudly rebuke students who didn't immediately understand what they were supposed to do with a completely new concept and activity by telling them that they should know how to do this by now.

Although I feel like I am making an impact with my students and my personal life and future are looking very bright, I am truthfully terrified for my students and their future. It is so very hard to make up instructional time for students who fall behind in their coursework, especially in English and Math. My students have effectively been without a certified teacher for 3 months.

If you remember, spare a few thoughts for us tomorrow as you go through your day. Send some positivity toward Room 112 and the students that want to learn in there, but are struggling through little fault of their own.