It was a day of extremes. Today, we found out the STAAR (Texas standardized test results). Two of my 9 students "met standard" for 6th grade.
To understand how this news was delivered and taken, you would have to spend a year in a school that from day one of the school year talks about the STAAR and the students scores the previous years and the implications of the scores they will receive this year. When classes are disciplined with the question, "Do you want to pass your STAAR?" and confronted with the query, "Do you know what happens when you fail the STAAR?" you begin to understand a little more clearly the pressure that is put on these students and the importance that is placed on a very difficult test.
For some of my students, it wasn't a big deal to tell them that they had failed. For two of my boys, their failing score this year was almost double their score from last year, so we had a lot to celebrate. For a few, though, it was a blow. I had a student who has asked me at least 3 times a week when we would hear the results because his dad said they would go on a summer trip if he passed. He did not. It was heartbreaking to tell him. It was awful to tell Blossom as well. The disappointment was just so raw when he said, "But I tried my best!" He immediately asked if I could get him extra reading practice that he could do. I said that I think he's all caught up in class and that he has a good grade, but that I could get him extra pages for him to do just for his own practice for next year if he wanted. He said he wanted that and also to practice writing because in 7th grade they have to take a writing STAAR. It's amazing how these kids can exasperate you and inspire you in the same day, sometimes in the same minute.
In all cases, my students don't understand that they've been behind since they started elementary school and that it takes incredible amounts of motivation and hard work and TIME to get back to the level that the state expects all students to achieve! They can't conceptualize the size of the problem that we are facing in inner city schools and instead are taught to bear the burden of failure entirely on their own shoulders. People may say a lot about apathetic youth, but these students cared that they failed. They cared a lot. And there was no question on whom they placed the blame: themselves. Not that they aren't at least partly to blame; and believe you me, we talked A LOT about what this means they have to do differently next year, but it is simply not all their fault.
Now, please allow me to tell you about my students that passed. One of my only girls had failed her simulation test that they took a couple months ago, and did not have high hopes for her STAAR. After the test, she said that she had taken the whole time and that it had been very difficult. She passed it and I was so thrilled to tell her that I almost cried! I gave her her score on a post it note, with the passing requirement below her number and let her figure it out. She was so happy! She also passed her math STAAR and was proud to say that she was the only girl in her class to pass it. An extremely sad and depressing achievement, but an achievement nonetheless! I was unspeakably proud of her. I'm serious, I feel like I can't convey here how much pride I felt in seeing her reach her goal after she had doubted herself. She doubted, but she didn't use that as an excuse, and she worked her butt off before we took that test. She deserved every bit of that passing score. I went to watch her at her choir concert tonight and I got to meet her mom. I introduced myself, but she said that her daughter had already mentioned me and what I had helped her with. That felt really good.
Romeo passed it too! He had failed it last year and was placed in a reading intervention this year, as well as on my focus list, due to his score. Despite all his know-it-all-ness and tendency to say that he already knew everything I was telling him, he remained focused on his goal throughout the year and made huge progress in his reading level and his STAAR score. He was obviously, yet understatedly pleased with himself when I shared his score with him. I'm trying hard to focus on these two students' success.
I am not even close to including everything that happened today, but this will have to do. I am in the midst of writing personal goodbye notes to all of my students, so my work days are lasting a little longer.
To understand how this news was delivered and taken, you would have to spend a year in a school that from day one of the school year talks about the STAAR and the students scores the previous years and the implications of the scores they will receive this year. When classes are disciplined with the question, "Do you want to pass your STAAR?" and confronted with the query, "Do you know what happens when you fail the STAAR?" you begin to understand a little more clearly the pressure that is put on these students and the importance that is placed on a very difficult test.
For some of my students, it wasn't a big deal to tell them that they had failed. For two of my boys, their failing score this year was almost double their score from last year, so we had a lot to celebrate. For a few, though, it was a blow. I had a student who has asked me at least 3 times a week when we would hear the results because his dad said they would go on a summer trip if he passed. He did not. It was heartbreaking to tell him. It was awful to tell Blossom as well. The disappointment was just so raw when he said, "But I tried my best!" He immediately asked if I could get him extra reading practice that he could do. I said that I think he's all caught up in class and that he has a good grade, but that I could get him extra pages for him to do just for his own practice for next year if he wanted. He said he wanted that and also to practice writing because in 7th grade they have to take a writing STAAR. It's amazing how these kids can exasperate you and inspire you in the same day, sometimes in the same minute.
In all cases, my students don't understand that they've been behind since they started elementary school and that it takes incredible amounts of motivation and hard work and TIME to get back to the level that the state expects all students to achieve! They can't conceptualize the size of the problem that we are facing in inner city schools and instead are taught to bear the burden of failure entirely on their own shoulders. People may say a lot about apathetic youth, but these students cared that they failed. They cared a lot. And there was no question on whom they placed the blame: themselves. Not that they aren't at least partly to blame; and believe you me, we talked A LOT about what this means they have to do differently next year, but it is simply not all their fault.
Now, please allow me to tell you about my students that passed. One of my only girls had failed her simulation test that they took a couple months ago, and did not have high hopes for her STAAR. After the test, she said that she had taken the whole time and that it had been very difficult. She passed it and I was so thrilled to tell her that I almost cried! I gave her her score on a post it note, with the passing requirement below her number and let her figure it out. She was so happy! She also passed her math STAAR and was proud to say that she was the only girl in her class to pass it. An extremely sad and depressing achievement, but an achievement nonetheless! I was unspeakably proud of her. I'm serious, I feel like I can't convey here how much pride I felt in seeing her reach her goal after she had doubted herself. She doubted, but she didn't use that as an excuse, and she worked her butt off before we took that test. She deserved every bit of that passing score. I went to watch her at her choir concert tonight and I got to meet her mom. I introduced myself, but she said that her daughter had already mentioned me and what I had helped her with. That felt really good.
Romeo passed it too! He had failed it last year and was placed in a reading intervention this year, as well as on my focus list, due to his score. Despite all his know-it-all-ness and tendency to say that he already knew everything I was telling him, he remained focused on his goal throughout the year and made huge progress in his reading level and his STAAR score. He was obviously, yet understatedly pleased with himself when I shared his score with him. I'm trying hard to focus on these two students' success.
I am not even close to including everything that happened today, but this will have to do. I am in the midst of writing personal goodbye notes to all of my students, so my work days are lasting a little longer.
This breaks my heart! We, as a country, can't stand for this! Kids shouldn't be punished for their geographic location or socioeconomic status! ALL KIDS DESERVE A SOLID EDUCATION! Love, Mom
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